Tuesday, June 07, 2005

"Called Your Number on the Telephone, Just To See If You Were Home..."

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Ahhh, telemarketers. Some of our favorite -- NOT! -- people in the world. Even more favorite when they call at dinnertime or when you're readying a young child for a bath or are already overseeing bathtime.

This evening, I witnessed the following scene. I was pleasantly surprised by it.

Ring-ring.

Husband answers the phone.
"Hello?"

He listens. "It depends who's calling."

He listens. "Sorry, we're not home."

He hangs up. He has a big smile on his face.

(Turns out it was a time-sharing resort who wanted to make our acquaintance...)

Wow...what gumption. Mr. TorontoPearl proved that one can actually say what one only imagines they'd like to say...to a telemarketer.

When I answer the phone, see a number I don't recognize, and someone at the other end says, "May I please speak to Mr. or Mrs. TorontoPearl?" I automatically say, "I'm sorry they're not available now. May I please give them a message..." When they tell me what service or agency they're calling from, I tell them to try and call back in the middle of the day (when I'm sure nobody will be home to accept their call).

Perhaps Mr. TorontoPearl became a little bold over the phone this evening because he read this message, which I forwarded to him today. Some handy hints...

Andy Rooney's tips for telemarketers

1) Three Little Words That Work!
The three little words are: "Hold On, Please..."
Saying this, while putting down your phone and walking off (instead of hanging-up immediately) would make each telemarketing call so much more time-consuming that boiler room sales would grind to a halt.

Then when you eventually hear the phone company's "beep-beep-beep", you know it's time to go back and hang up your handset, which has efficiently completed its task.

These three little words will help eliminate telephone soliciting.

2) Do you ever get those annoying phone calls with no one on the other end? This is a telemarketing technique where a machine makes phone calls and records the time of day when a person answers the phone.

This technique is used to determine the best time of day for a "real" sales person to call back and get someone at home.

What you can do after answering, if you notice there is no one there, is to immediately start hitting your # button on the phone, 6 or 7 times, as quickly as possible.

This confuses the machine that dialed the call and it kicks your number out of their system.

Gosh, what a shame not to have your name in their system any longer!

3 comments:

Mirty said...

Do you still get the door-to-door people where you are? We do. Mostly cult-members, Jehovah witnesses, moonies, all that. With two dogs who always run to the door (the other two hide under the table), I'm always tempted to just say "sic 'em!" and let the bites fall where they will.

torontopearl said...

Mirty, your comment made me smile. I remembered when I was young, maybe age 7 or 8 and the door-to-door Jehovah's witnesses came around. You know the types -- well-dressed men and women, and later toting along well-dressed children, too. Anyhow, clueless me once asked one of the women, her attache case in hand: "Are you the AVON LADY?"

tuesdaywishes said...

I used a good one recently on a guy who called selling subscriptions to the Toronto Star. I told him that I sell skin-care products from home ( I don't really) and asked if he would schedule a home demonstration.

Another good one can only be used on those who call to offer duct-cleaning services. One of my sons answered one of these and yelled to me "Ima, there's someone who wants to clean our duck!"
So I said "Tell them the duck already had a bath tonight!"