Monday, June 11, 2007

DogGONE It!





Spotted this amusing bit today on Reuters:


Bangkok:


Two Thai street mutts who became ace sniffer dogs at an airport near the notorious “Golden Triangle” opium-producing region have been fired for urinating on luggage and ‘sexually harassing’ female passengers. The pair, Mok and Lai, had been plucked from obscurity under a programme initiated by King Bhumibol Adulyadej to turn strays into police dogs, the Bangkok Post said on Sunday.


Mok, eight, and Lai, six, were welcomed by Chiang Rai police when the pair, local breeds, were sent to help them at the northern international airport. Authorities needed well-trained sniffer dogs to prevent any attempts by passengers to smuggle illegal drugs into the country. Mok and Lai became instant favourites. They obeyed the rules and did not make any serious mistakes. They won praise from police for their work in sniffing out drugs at northern Thailand’s Chiang Rai airport, near the border with Laos and Myanmar, but many passengers kept complaining about their behaviour.


They made some small errors — and that was enough to get them barred. Mok’s former handler Police Lieutenant Colonel Jakapop Kamhom said, “Mok liked to pee on luggage while searching for drugs inside. He also liked to hold on to women’s legs,” he added.“Both were just as good as foreign dogs trained for use in drug missions,” he added. “But they were stray dogs, so their manners were not as good as those of foreign breeds.”


Mok and Lai now work on a farm, herding chickens and pigs, the paper said.

Say What????

This came in an email.

See if you can translate these well-known clich├ęs and proverbs. Answers will be provided tomorrow perhaps.

(Elie, Miriam: I think you both will enjoy this brain quiz.)

1. Scintillate, scintillate, asteroid minikin.

2. Members of an avian species of identical plumage congregate.


3. Surveillance should precede saltation.

4. Pulchritude possesses solely cutaneous profundity.

5. It is fruitless to become lachrymose over precipitately departed lacteal fluid.

6. Freedom from encrustations of grime is contiguous to rectitude.

7. The stylus is more potent than the claymore.

8. It is fruitless to attempt to indoctrinate a superannuated canine with innovative manoeuvers.


9. Eschew the implementation of correction and vitiate the scion.

10. The temperature of the aqueous content of an unremittingly observed saucepan does not reach 212 degrees Fahrenheit.

11. All articles that coruscate with resplendence are not truly auriferous.

12. Where there are visible vapours having their prevalence in ignited carbonaceous materials, there is conflagration.

13. Sorting on the part of mendicants must be interdicted.


14. A plethora of individuals with expertise in culinary techniques vitiates the potable concoction produced by steeping certain comestibles.

15. Eleemosynary deeds have their incipience intramurally.


16. Individuals who make their abodes in vitreous edifices would be advised to refrain from catapulting petrous projectiles.

17. Neophyte's serendipity.

18. Exclusive dedication to laborious enterprise without interlude of enjoyable diversion renders John a tedious fellow.

19. A revolving lithic conglomerate accumulates no congeries of a small green bryophytic plant.


20. It behooves the garrulous to render impenetrable the buccal orifice during mastication.

Who Is Rich?

Who is rich?

* He* who goes to a community fund-raiser for a school whose students have physical and mental challenges, and thanks G-d that his children do not need the school's services.

* He who walks through the lobby of a children's hospital and thanks G-d that his children are not patients there.

* He who realizes that it's not always dollars that make "sense"!

* He who understands that praise is a gift, and shares that gift.

* He who puts family before self.

* He who makes a house a home.

* He who instills a "value" system in each of his children.

* He who makes strangers feel like longtime friends.

* He who gives more than he takes.

* He who believes that the pursuit of learning and studying is a lifelong adventure.

* He who thanks G-d for all that he is and all that he already has.


_______________________________________

He* can also mean she.