Sunday, March 06, 2005

Ayelet, the Kosher Komic

I came home a short while ago after seeing this comedienne. May I suggest an evening out for you ladies, if Ayelet hits your town. You won't be sorry--she's quick, she's entertaining, she will strike a chord and you will laugh at her humor, and those bits of yourself that you recognize.

I've had the pleasure to see and enjoy Ayelet's show, contacted her today (Monday, March 7) to tell her about my mention of her on my blog, and she had this to say:


A few more "pearlies" of my own...

If I am not going to be in someone's area, they can order my CD online through my website:

Also, please feel free to give my name and information to any organizations you feel might want to have me perform for their Rosh
Chodesh events, fund-raisers, or any function, world-wide. I travel constantly and am always looking for fun new places to which to
bring simcha and laughter!

And one last thing... There is an amazing opportunity to do hachnassas kallah, and I am pasting the email I got from my friend (who
I mentioned in my show - Yissroel Chaim Michael ben Breindel, who is a crunchy-granola alternative healer and orthodox spiritual guy
aged 39, still looking for his zivug as well!)

Tizki l'mitzvos!!!
Dear Friends, amv's

I am calling upon you to enroll you all in a GREAT Mitzvah.

Rabbanit Chaya Klein of Rechovot, Israel is an Almanah and a mother of a large family K"H. I have taken it upon myself to raise the
money for the wedding of her son Yitzchak. IY"H by Pesach I hope to have $5000 USD to be alotted for the night of the Chassanah. I
ask you all to please join with me in opening your hearts to sharing in this joyous Mitzvah of Simchas Chosson V'Kallah.

Please be as generous as you can and share this with as many people as you can. B"H all of you have come through for me before in
terms of matters of Tzedakah and I have no doubt that you will now.

Please make ***TAX DEDUCTIBLE*** Canadian cheques out to VMM, and US cheques to Congregation Binyan Olem.

Send to:

Micha (Larry) Braun
5785 Sir Walter Scott, #303,
Cote Saint Luc, Quebec,
H4W 1S4, Canada

Anyone in Israel, please just contact me and we will see about gathering the money there, and where to send it.

(514) 488-8039

Please feel free to contact me at any time for clarification about this or anything else.

Thank you again my friends, and Tizku L'mitzvos, U L'Masim Tovim, U L'Shanim Rabot!

Comedienne keeps her comedy kosher

Special to The CJN

Take a dollop of Jackie Mason, a dash of Jerry Seinfeld and a healthy serving of Lucille Ball’s wackiness and you have the recipe for the comedic stylings of Ayelet, an up-and-coming Jewish comic.

Like Cher and Madonna, she only goes by one name professionally. (Her last name is Ben Har.) But unlike those other entertainers, the 20something comic is completely family friendly – she doesn’t swear, tell dirty jokes or talk about sex – and, as a strictly observant Jew, she only performs in front of women.

Known as the “Kosher Komic,” she touts herself as the only “strictly kosher” comedienne in the world.

“Most comics today are not in any way clean. Jewish humour, kosher humour, is difficult, but somehow Hashem has helped me find the way to be funny and clean,” says Ayelet, who lives in Jerusalem’s Old City.

Her latest world tour runs from February to April and hits London, Toronto and the east and west coasts of the United States. She is scheduled to perform at the BAYT synagogue in Thornhill on Sunday, March 6, at 8 p.m.

Her set includes routines about children, Pesach, diets and quirky occasions in Jewish life. She also pokes fun at Britney Spears’ newfound kashrut observance and kvetches about her misadventures with shadchanim (matchmakers) – “I’ve contacted 165 shadchanim in nine different states, four different countries and personally seen over 75 of them, all in nine months.”

But she is perhaps best known among her fans for her tongue-in-cheek shtick called “Glatt Kosher Airlines.”

“All of our flights are numbered 613… Gentlemen, I hope you can hear me through the mechitzah. My voice has been altered for your protection… Should there be, chas v’chalila, a rapid change in cabin pressure, from the panel above your head will fall a Sefer Tehillim [Psalms]. Please say your own tehillim first, prior to assisting a small child, elderly passenger or recent baal tshuvah seated next to you.”

Ayelet wasn’t always what she calls the “ultra-Orthodox girl with bulletproof stockings.”

She’s been a performer for about 10 years, having bounced between New York and Los Angeles as an actress and appeared on HBO, Comedy Central and Lifetime Television, as well as on Sesame Street and The Division.

She began doing stand-up five years ago in “treif” comedy clubs across New York and Los Angeles – including such well-known comedy institutions as The Improv, Laugh Factory and the Comedy Store – before becoming observant 21/2 years ago.

She only revived her career in its new, more conservative form last year while performing in front of seminary girls in Jerusalem. She has since entertained haredi women, as well as more modern crowds – she appeared last month at a cafĂ© in Jerusalem’s Baka neighbourhood, followed by a performance the following night in a private living room in the haredi Jerusalem neighbourhood of Har Nof.

“People have always told me I am very funny. I just took a while to get my courage together and get up on stage to make people laugh. But once I was up there, there was no getting me down.”

Ayelet currently works for two Jewish outreach organizations, Aish HaTorah and Isralight, where she first “found the beauty and truth in Torah, and a terrific, meaningful life.”

Ayelet has performed at seminaries, in living rooms and at shul fundraisers – but only for women.

“I have been in showbiz in the secular world. I’ve performed in front of mixed crowds, men and women. I’ve come to a point in my life where I feel that it would be most modest of me to perform only in front of women,” she says.

In doing so, Ayelet has given many observant Jewish women their first opportunity to see stand-up comedy.

Many observant Jews don’t have televisions and don’t go to movies, mostly due to sexual and violent content, thereby limiting their entertainment choices, she explains.

Ayelet says she looks up to Rachel Factor, an Orthodox Jewish convert and former Rockette who is touring with a one-woman show called JAP.

“She is an amazing Jewish woman and a terrific performer,” Ayelet says. “She has transformed her whole life and is now doing what she loves and making Jewish women happy.”

Ayelet’s CD is available at select locations, or at

Pugs Are Just Another Form

Our pug, Tyson, has had quite a bit said about him in this blogger's pages. Last week, I tried even to make a shidduch between him and Lizzie, some beautiful bitch on the STACEY'S SHMATA blog page. She's an older canine, a much-taller canine, and she's probably already gone through the dog-o-paws stage, so I can't really see puppies in Tyson's least not with Lizzie.

But who'd want Tyson anyhow? He snores...big-time. He snorts like a pig...big-time. He passes wind...big-time. For a small guy, he's got a paunch belly...big-time. He wants to eat...all the time. And when he's not eating, not passing wind, he's sleeping and snoring the day away.

Every now and again -- today was again -- he tries to clear his sinuses. It's sort of worse than his snoring. Can you imagine an old man who unfortunately forgot some of his manners, and he's continually trying to clear his throat of phlegm? Well, that's Tyson...old boy. Maybe he thinks he's human, and at the shvitz at a health club with a dozen retirees, shooting the breeze -- literally and figuratively -- and trying to clear, like them, his nasal/throat passages.

I never did mention before that Tyson is a convert -- he went from being Roman Catholic Italian, to Modern Orthodox Jewish. No, we didn't take him to the mikvah for conversion purposes, but we did stick him in the laundry tub two years ago when he was adopted by us, and douse him with water -- we dunked him three times, but couldn't figure out which bracha to say, so we just declared: "Today you are a Jew...mazel tov."

He turned eight last week -- we hope he makes it to thirteen -- I've envisioned having a bark-mitzvah for him. Not sure what kind of d'var Torah he'd give, but everyone would wish a mazel tov and say "Canine hora! Canine hora!"

So if anyone out there has a dog they'd like to breed with a pig -- oops, I mean a pug -- contact me. Maybe we can make a shidduch.... It'd be nice to post a simcha sooner than later on or!