Sunday, March 26, 2006

Today I Am...a Jewish Dog


Blogroll Me!

Dear Readers,

This is not me. This is a cheap, stand-in canine model that my mom, TorontoPearl, found to put on her blog.

She only thinks it looks a lot like me. But I'm much cuter -- I've even been known to stop traffic.

And although I'm thought to be a shih-poo, my mom came home one night after walking me and exclaimed to the family, "Max is not a shih-poo; he's a THREE-POO." (She only thinks I didn't hear that, but if she knew she had offended me, her guilt complex would be bigger than it already is. Currently it stands as the size of Cleveland.)

Right now I'm a bit too lazy to write and tell you about what it means to become...a Jewish dog. I will come back to share my thoughts with you, but in the meantime ponder this: "It's a pain in the canine tuches."

Love, Max (the canine formerly known as Snoopy)

16 comments:

cruisin-mom said...

Poor Max, losing his manhood and all. I certainly hope Jack does not hear you mention Cleveland.

Mia said...

Mazel Tov Max :)

All will be fine and Pearl did it because she loves you and cares about you!

wanderer said...

Dear Max,

Ummmm, I don't know how to tell you this, but you've been lied to. You see, in order to become Jewish a guy does have to have a piece of his male anatomy, shall we say, altered. (Not that I would know, being that I am a nice Jewish lady dog).

What was done to you however, goes beyond that, and you should be aware of that fact. I too have had my 'nads excised, but at least my "owners" told me the real reason it was happening. So just rest assured that after all is said and done, it turns out that its all about getting the privilege of wearing one of those really cool hats. Just click here, and you will see.

Love, Bella.

cruisin-mom said...

oh my goodness, bella looks "bellll-aaa" in her little hat!

torontopearl said...

CM, re. Cleveland. Well whadaya think? Of course I wrote it for Jack's benefit. In truth, my owner's (SHE thinks she's my mother so I let her) guilt complex
is only as big as Teaneck, New Jersey!

Mia, you got it wrong. Yes, Pearl loves me, but TorontoPearl's hubby did it to me 'cause he thought "A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do!"

Bella, I already know that my mom was trying to make a shidduch between me and you. Ya think I still have a chance? I may no longer be as manly as you'd like me to be, but I still have that "cute" thing going on...

CM, I agree. Bella is such a babe in her hat. I look like a dork in mine. But nonetheless, I'd love to have a little tete-a-tete with her. Listen, a dog can dream, can't he?

torontopearl said...

Hey, where did that cheap, stand-in canine model go?
Guess I have to ask my mom and dad to find a picture of the real me in my party hat, and post it.

Elie said...

My dog is so Jewish, she knows when it's Shabbos. She won't touch dog food Friday afternoon because she knows she gets chicken table-scraps on Friday night. I don't know how she knows Shabbos is coming; some combination of smells and activities. But it's amazing.

torontopearl said...

Elie that's so funny...and nice! Maybe she and Max can get together. He's Shomrei Shabbos and M.O.!

Jack's Shack said...

Pearl,

Am I missing something here?

torontopearl said...

Jack, no doubt it's Cleveland you're missing...!

Jack's Shack said...

No, I am talking about the picture.

torontopearl said...

Sorry, everyone. The picture of a dog in an Elizabethan collar, which I'd "borrowed" from GOOGLE, was suddenly replaced by the computer system with what you see above. I will have to download pics of the real Max in his "party duds"!

Ralphie said...

Um, I might be mistaken here, but I thought messing with an animal's junk is forbidden by Torah law...?

cruisin-mom said...

Pearl...I can see the picture just fine.
I'm on mozilla though, not internet explorer, maybe that is why.

Ezzie said...

Hey, why the dig at Cleveland?!

Jack's Shack said...

Ezzie,

Why not.