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When I posted and said that the romance with my job had fizzled after so many years, I was talking in wordplay.
I made my post sound rather vague and perhaps misleading...intentionally. Of course, having worked in the publishing world for so many years, and dealing primarily with romance fiction, my metaphors were intentional, too. Yes, the romance had fizzled out, and yes there was a lot of "It's not you, it's me" going on, but it wasn't I who walked out the door; I was shown the door.
Okay, there was some mutual dealings going on -- I didn't really want to be there anymore...it showed in my slipping work habits in the past several months...so they didn't want me.
I'd already wanted to be out of that romance bubble a long time ago, but continued to float along...and on that Tuesday, April 4, the bubble burst.
Now, I have to be honest here; I owe nobody any kind of explanation, but I want you to be aware of something...
My habit of staying up very late and blogging or e-mailing newfound blogger friends certainly did not help my concentration on my job. At first, I was handling it, and then during the day, the lack of sleep made me restless and not as alert as I could've/should've been.
Yes, I really had had my fill of this job for the last l...o....n....g while, but if you were to chart my performance trends turning downward, you'd see a direct correlation between the time I began to seriously blog and the time I was shown the door.
People have often said that blogging is not our life; no, it's not, but it has become a major aspect of mine. Maybe it was a factor in helping to close the door on my longtime job, but it has also opened many a door for me, business-wise, friendship-wise, and even creativity-wise. And I have a feeling that there are still a number of doors that are just waiting to be opened...
10 comments:
I've been amazed at the number of bloggers who barely (don't?) know me who sent me emails with job possibilities when I mentioned it in a post. The J-blogosphere is truly amazing...
It's also been great to actually meet a few of the people behind the blogs - you find friends you never would have met otherwise.
I am certainly in no place to judge you, TP. I do not know you just because I read your blog every day. I do love your writing and I think you seem like an extremely intelligent, kind, sensitive, and caring (if not, at times, self-deprecating) person. But honestly, it's kind of shocking to me that blogging has taken over your life to such an extent. You posted a while back about your kids complaining about your "not being there" because of the amount of time you spend on the computer. And now you are writing about how your job performance has deteriorated to such an extent that you've been fired! You say you've been ready to move on from this job for a long while now, but wouldn't you have wanted such a huge decision to be made on your own terms (i.e. you walking out the door, not being shown the door)? Yes, blogging has many benefits and I'm sure you've made some very good friends over the internet and doors have opened for you but.....I don't know. It seems like there's a fine line between a hobby or an outlet and...this. I don't mean for this to sound like an attack in any way. I just wish you all the best.
EZZIE: you're so right re. finding friends --long-distance ones, at least -- you might've not met otherwise. I find that blogging has somewhat of a chain reaction...
ANONYMOUS: I appreciate your comment, and I don't perceive it as an attack of any kind.
I just wanted to explain in my post that blogging can have both positive and negative effects...but believe me when I say that this seemingly negative effect, is in fact a postive one for me.
Of course, nobody really wants to be shown the door, but I KNOW that I was -- and am -- very good at what I do, and others know that too. The people I work with and work for are therefore SHOCKED at my being "dismissed". There are indeed other factors that play into the scene, and let's just say it had to do with the administration.
But I know that the company knew I wasn't so happy anymore, either. Perhaps it works out best all around. I got more or less what I wished for. As for the company, yes, I'll eventually be replaced, but I know that everyone will recognize the loss of my long-honed copy editing skills, interpersonal skills and my resourcefulness on the job.
I know you meant well by your comment, and I thank you for it.
As difficult as it is to leave your job, and even if you are really ready to go, it's still going to be a difficult transition most likely, it may end up being the best thing for you. I hope that you fall in love with your new work just as you did your last job.
Pearl: I think good things are coming. Sometimes change, no matter how it occurs, is necessary.
There is an expression: leshaneh et hamakom, leshaneh et hamazal. Sometimes, when you change your place, you change your luck. This could be a good thing for you - you seem at peace with it, and you seem to have perspective on the situation and know yourself well. Those are good things!!
Not to get all Hallmark on you, but "Two roads diverged in a yellow wood. . ."
The old boy knew about what he was writing - I guess you will see what is your road less travelled. blogging has opened up a new world for me as well and i have done things and met people who have enriched my life in so many ways because of this. I can't wait to hear where it takes you; I know you will write eloquently about it!
You're so right. There was Before Blogging, now there is After (or During) Blogging. With goals and time management, it should make so much possible....
Blogging is an obsession, and like any obsession, great things can come from it, but it can also cause great problems.
If your kids or your employers are telling you something, you should probably stop and listen.
Years ago, my wife told me I was addicted to computer games and I needed to do something about it. At the time I thought she was nuts. I played computer games because I enjoyed them, not because of an addiction. But I think she was right. I was spending more time engaged in fantasy worlds than in the real world, and when I wasn't playing a game, I was thinking about it. Maybe I've replaced that addiction with Blogging?
Anyway, it's true: due to the reflective nature of blogs, we use them to help us better appreciate that which happens around us. But we have to be there when things happen or we won't have much to blog about.
Ezer, it's meshaneh not leshaneh, as far as I know.
Pearl, may G-d continue to bless you in every way. Thanks for the honesty in your writing.
I'm sorry, people. I often forget to comment back until several days later. It's as if I'm "taking in" my comments...
Mirty: I don't believe blogging/surfing got me fired-- but it didn't help!
Amishav: I couldn't help but fall in love with this last job -- I was reading romance novels for nearly 20 years on the job!
EK: I do believe my mazel has changed...and only hopefully for the better. I was shown the door just after completing my 18th year, and it happened on a Tuesday -- both are supposed to be mazeldik!
Tuesday: I'm not accessible to the computer as much, even if I'm home, so there goes some blogging time! I also hope that whatever I find will complement my talents.
PT: Blogging might be a hindrance, but it's also a wonderful information tool-- especially in the J-Blog world; I read so many smaller news items I'd neer have known about 'cause they don't make it to our local papers--Jewish or otherwise.
Rabbi: Thank you for that bracha. And let me tell you, honesty is not always easy...but it can be rewarding.
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