I can't spend too long on this post. I have to get busy and learn some new lingo: pirate lingo. As in: "Walk the plank." "Arr." "Ahoy, matey."
And I need to find me some pirate clothing: maybe Wardrobe still has that puffy shirt from Seinfeld, which I can borrow. And I need an eye patch, a bandana, some britches and fine calfskin knee-length boots.
Why this sudden interest in pirates, you wonder? Well, I was on www.craigslist.com a short while ago, looking at job listings for Toronto, and under part-time I found this most sensational (tongue-in-cheek) opportunity:
Reply to: email@example.com
Date: 2006-06-06, 8:31PM EDT
Tired of your current job (or lack thereof)? Perhaps you'd prefer one in which you can: - Work as a member of a close-knit team - Travel - Learn about the industry that Forbes listed as the "3rd fastest growing in North America" in 2005 - International Piracy. - Advance quickly, regardless of education level or prior experience I am looking for a dedicated crew to accompany me on an open-ended expedition to South America, where we will pillage cities, board merchant vessels and conduct raids on the ports of small nations. No experience is required, although skills related to sailing, gunnery, hand-to-hand combat and pirate accents are a plus. The successful applicant will also be: - Motivated and a self-starter - In possession of a HS diploma - Able to work individually or as a member of a team - Able to work under intense pressure and rapidly changing conditions - In possession of a boat, or a good credit rating and thus the means with which to aquire one 10-15 positions are available immediately, however captured ships will need to be crewed shortly as well. The Ship is an equal opportunity employer. We welcome applications from members of protected groups, and will make any reasonable accomodations to workers with disabilities.
Job location is Carribean/South Atlantic
Compensation: $2000+; free uniform; travel expenses; room and board; dental
Telecommuting is ok.
This is a part-time job.
This is a contract job.
This is an internship job
no -- Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
no -- Please, no phone calls about this job!
no -- Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.
yes -- Reposting this message elsewhere is OK.
yes -- OK to repost to Job Developers for Persons with Disabilities.
Okay, men, I am ready to plunder and pillage. Count me in.