Monday, November 20, 2006

A Honk for Every Occasion

The car horn in my Honda Civic sounds like a sick duck. The car horn in our Honda Odyssey minivan doesn't sound much better. In other words, these are not horns to be taken seriously. It's the loud cursing inside the interior of the vehicle that accompanies the beeps and bleeps and honks that I emit that might have more impact...were my windows rolled down!

This morning I did the first shift of getting my kids to school. As I entered the school driveway, a car ahead of me suddenly decided to stop a bit over to the side. Although it was my friend's husband, I gave a honk to indicate my annoyance that he'd suddenly stop and make me have to maneuver around him. I didn't knew if he saw me or not.

But while I was parked in the appropriate drop-off spot, letting my kids out of the van, my friend's husband drove past and gave a double honk. Was he answering my single honk? I first wondered. Then I realized that his must've been a greeting honk, as if he were saying "Hi, Pearl. I want to say good morning to you."

That's when I realized that he must've misinterpreted my annoyance honk for one of greeting, as well.

That's when I realized that I need to personalize my car horn and its honks for different occasions.

When I'm annoyed at another driver, or drivers, my horn should sound like an elephant about to charge through the jungle.

When I want to greet somebody, my horn should sound like Glinda the good witch's titter.

When I want to get someone's attention -- to let them know that they can move into traffic ahead of me, or that the light signal has changed color -- my horn should sound like Slyvester Stallone's raspy "Yo!"

And if I'm just cruising aimlessly, happily along city streets or country roads, the horn honk should sound like a "Yee-haw!"

I do know that you can personalize car horns to play bits of songs -- perhaps when the mood strikes me to hit my horn, one day you'll hear Donna Summer's "Bad Girls" bleeping and people will indeed get out of my way!

Until then, if you hear a duck honk behind you, or beside you, take a good look -- no doubt it'll be me waving hi...or giving you the finger!


Ezzie said...

I've always wanted to do that. There should be a "Hey! Watch out! What the hell are you thinking!?" beep, and a "Hey... what's up?! :)" beep.

Meanwhile, we all know that Canadians don't know how to drive... :P

Mia said...

First of all: we also have a Honda civic - she (we decided its a she) is 14 years old and still driving like a queen! I usually never honk, mostly I honk by mistake, like my elbow is touching the honk-button on the steering will when I try to get out of the car with lots of stuff......

But I like your idea of different honks :D

Wendy said...

Kinda nice that he thought the best of your intentions! But wouldn't that be nice? To have options? Great post...

~ Sarah ~ said...

i wish i could have customised honking sounds cos my car sounds worse than a sick duck!

cruisin-mom said...

LOL! I want a honk that says "GET THE F%#$ OUT OF MY WAY!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Different kinds of honks would be good, but what I'd really like is some kind of board where I could flash messages to the car ahead or behind me. It would be great to be able to tell the car ahead "you left your blinker on" or the car behind "stop tailgating", etc.

marallyn ben moshe said...

i love that...different the meantime you want me maybe to teach you how to swear in arabic???

Anonymous said...

Hey, just accessed this post from a different browser, and saw the picture for the first time. Love those old Daredevil comics!!

Mag said...

I didn't expect to find a link to the Treadmill here!

Everyone should be able to see the image now--old comics are meant to be shared!

torontopearl said...

Ezzie: only SOME of us Canadians don't know how to drive!

Mia: I often drive while making sure that the horn is available to be used at all times, ie. I position my fingers on it, to be ready to be used at a moment's notice!

Wendy: Thanks. I guess I should've named this: "Honk if you like Pearl's post!"

Sarah: We should have a horn sound-off to compare the lameness of them.

CM: Would that kind of horn be taken seriously with your choice of vehicle, I wonder? But I'd definitely love the power behind that horn.

Elie: Great idea, but would people take the time to read those flashing messages?

Marallyn: Arabic would be good. The strongest I've actually used when driving, and when I'm alone in the car too is "STUPID ASS!"

Elie: I have no clue which comic strip hero is in the image; I just picked an image that worked well with the post.

Mag: Thanks for dropping in. See my response to Elie above.