Thursday, February 15, 2007

Bag Lady

I like to go grocery shopping late on Thursday nights -- first, I go to one supermarket, which closes at ten o'clock. I help close it...and then....I go to another supermarket, which closes at eleven o'clock. I help close that one too.

Yes, there's still produce, there's still Kosher meat, there are still baked goods or freshly-baked goods available, so I'm not usually missing anything as I buy my last-minute items for Shabbat, the weekend and the early part of the following week.

But tonight I was I looked down at myself, standing in the fruits and vegetable section of the first store. I tore off from a roller some plastic bags to use to bag the fruits I'd selected. I separated the bags at the perforations and then... I attempted to open them one by one.

I stood like like an idiot, trying to find the seam for the opening. If you looked over at me, you'd have seen a woman in a heavy-duty-good-for-the-Arctic-or-in-this-case-Toronto-weather parka standing and looking as if she was just rubbing her hands together, trying to warm them; she might've even looked as if she was rubbing two sticks together in a natural attempt to make fire. No, not at all. She was just trying to get the damn plastic (equivalent plastic of Israel's "sakeet nylon") bag open!

I become very self-conscious in a situation like this and often attempt to make small talk with the people around me: "Can you get these bags open?" "How do you get these bags open?" "Could you please get this bag opened for me?"

Unfortunately, tonight there was nobody worthy of approaching in the fruits and veggies section, and I had to become self-reliant and manage the bag on my own. At one point, I was tempted to just hurl the nectarines I'd picked into the shopping cart -- to hell with the bags.

But I persevered and did manage...slowly but get the several bags I needed open.

Hmmm. Have I given the term "bag lady" a new meaning...?


Elie said...

I have trouble with those things too. I keep trying each end and then deciding it's the other end that opens! Over and over again.

Jewish Smörgåsbord said...

The trick is to wet your fingertops slightly, works most of the time, but not always! Even better go shopping with your husband and let him open the bags for you :)

orieyenta said...

Too funny. It happens to all of us. But with me, it usually turns out that I was trying to open the wrong end!

Shabbat Shalom.

Sharon From NY said...

Pearl- I needed that laugh! You've just described ME in the produce aisle, at least half the time - and recently in the same kind of parka! Sadly, I find that Orientya is correct and much of the time when the bag won't open it is, indeed, because it's wrong way 'round! Good Shabbos!

Anonymous said...

now that was an achievement :-)