What's with the "Ugh" in Donut?

When I was working in copy editing for the trade publisher, I'd always have to change the spelling of DONUT to DOUGHNUT...adding that "UGH" whenever necessary.

So this correlation was on my mind this morning and the other day as I was driving.

On Saturday night, after 8 p.m., I was driving, came to an intersection, close to a doughnut shop, and spotted a cop car. I wondered if the cop was coming from the shop at that hour. Then I started to wonder what exactly a cop's routine is -- going from doughnut shop to doughnut shop until a call comes in over his radio? He probably leaves white powder sugar as evidence on his own police equipment!

This morning, while driving to work on a rather large and busy main street, I noticed several police cars as I neared an intersection -- three were parked on one side of the road, two were parked on another. I wondered who they'd be busting at 8:15 a.m., having a need for five police vehicles. And then I saw it: the doughnut shop!

And several officers were huddled outside its doors, standing around and talking freely.

My taxpayer's dollars hard at work...

I discovered this on a website, and thought I'd share it with you.

Why Do Cops Like Donuts?

This is a question that has plagued mankind for years. The answer is quite simple.
1. Donuts are relatively inexpensive, so they can be discarded with little guilt, in case of a hot call in the middle of a snack break.
2. In many areas, the donut shop is the only place open 24 hours.
3. Donuts have sugar and carbohydrates, which allow for quick energy. Donuts, coupled with the ever present cup of coffee, help keep the officers awake and alert.
4. Donut shops are usually located in centralized areas, which can be used as a meeting place for briefings between Officers of different agencies or shifts.
5. Donuts are TASTY! Can you think of anyone who DOESN'T like donuts?

There you have it. There is no great mystery as to why Cops and donuts go hand in hand. One word of advice. When the Police Officer asks you,"Have you been drinking? Your eyes are red." Don't reply, "Have you been eating donuts? Your eyes are glazed ."

Shlemazel Mazel Revisited...Yet Again!

The latter part of Sukkot we were hosting and were guests, but the first day lunch we were hosting, so there was much preparing for the large crowd we were having. Being a bit organized this time, I divvied up the meal-making over a few days, just leaving a couple of things to do for Erev Yom Tov, when I came home from work in the early afternoon.

One of those things was making gefilte fish.

No, I'm not such a balebusta that I buy chopped fish or the unthinkable, grind it myself, and make gefilte fish. But I do make the frozen fish loaves, doctoring them up in a flavorful way as they cook.

And I made two loaves. And when it was time to take them out of the pot, I used a couple of utensils to try to balance a loaf at each end. The first loaf didn't cooperate and fell back into the pot. S P L A S H! OUCHOUCHOUCH....! (a stronger expression actually spewed forth from my lips) The water had splashed onto the middle of my hand and on some fingers.

The pain was quite unbearable; after a minute of shock, I ran the hand under cold water and blew on the hand the way our mothers always blew on our "boo-boos" to make them feel better. Still so painful and tingling at the same time, the way skin does when you have "pins and needles" after a foot or a hand falls asleep and you get up to move.

I found some cream to put on the injury -- my domestic "war wound" -- and told my story to my husband and children as they came through the door.

The next day, the area that had been splashed was visibly red, the next day it being worse, and a couple of fingers being swollen. A doctor friend at shul declared it a first-degree burn and told me to continue to apply the Polysporin (TM) cream, which was not a burn cream, but the only one I had at home.

The hand became a conversation piece at shul and in mixed company: "WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR HAND?" I tried to put on cream and then wrap it in gauze, but I looked too much like a mummy in that area. (a "mummy mummy") So I continued to keep it exposed.

About a week ago, the skin, which had turned reddish-brown, began to flake and peel and itch like mad...hopefully a sign of true healing.

It is not a pretty sight this hand of mine, but my youngest son noticed something that gave me a bit more perspective of the matter. A couple of days ago, he looked at the area in the middle of my hand that was flaking the most and exposing a new, light pink skin beneath, and he said, "It looks like a heart."

My little boy was right! That main wound is now noticeably in the shape of a heart.

There are some people who are said to wear their heart on their sleeve. Your friend Pearl wears hers on her hand...

I'd hate to think that a large scar might remain on my left hand from this kitchen mishap, but at least I know that the gefilte fish, which was the instigator, was enjoyed by those guests at my meals.

I can imagine it now: "Where did you get that bad scar?"

"Oh...that? From gefilte fish!"

Everything I Ever Needed to Know, I Learned...

...from the Internet!

I even learned something about myself...

Cultured pearls are simply real pearls managed in a semi-controlled environment.

LOOK! UP IN THE SKY...

...it's a plane.

Indeed it is.

I love walking in the neighborhood very late at night with Max, our "three-poo," and looking up at the night sky. It's dark, but as we live in the suburbs, we can actually see stars, instead of a mulitude of high voltaged lights. (contrary to Toronto's downtown business core)

One of the neatest things I love to see is an airplane cross the sky, his headlights on as he skims the inky dark. Those headlights/high beams cut swaths of brightness across its clear or cloudy path, just as a car does while driving on a lonely stretch of road.

Truly a sight to behold...

When I Grow Up I Want to Be...

We live in a modern, technological world. We witness advancements and progress on a daily basis.

People have different ambitions today than they might have had...say...40 years ago -- simply because the influences of media and education and society are different.

I don't believe that the ambition I'm about to share with you would have been on my "To Do" list 20 years ago. In fact, it might not have even been there a year or two ago. But it's somewhere near the top of the list these days. I don't imagine I'll actually fulfill that ambition simply because I don't tend to be a trendsetter or a leader; I'm a follower but still a doer.

Here's the wishful thinking ambition:

You know how you open up your emails on a daily basis and get jokes/videos/links to websites constantly being forwarded to you. You might get repeats of these emails from several friends and co-workers because these emails are making the rounds of the Internet.

Well, I want to write something or find something that's so attractive, so appealing, so interesting or so poignant or amusing, that I WILL START the ball rolling on a particular email. It will ORIGINATE from me and circle the globe through the forces of the Internet. It would sort of be similar to Norman Rockwell's "Gossip" -- I start off the email and eventually it finds its way back to me.

Hey, who knows...maybe it's this post that will have its fifteen minutes [or emails!] in the spotlight...!

Head Count

...so this is how the past few weeks have been.

Erev Yom Kippur -- I went to a funeral for the husband of a woman I used to work with. The family was able to sit shiva for 1 hour.

Erev Sukkot -- my husband went to a funeral of a close friend of ours. The family was able to sit shiva for 1 hour.

Chol Hamoed Sukkot Sunday -- my husband and I went to a funeral for a shul member. The family was somewhat in limbo for several days. The shiva begins tonight, motzei Shabbos. This afternoon, a friend and I went to deliver a seudat shlishit meal for the family.

Tomorrow, Sunday -- my husband and I will go to a funeral for the mother of a shul member, who is also our friend. His family was at our home this past Thursday for lunch, but our friend wasn't; after shul he walked for over two hours to get to the hospital where his mother had been taken by ambulance just before Yom Tov began on Wednesday night. He came home late on Thursday night; his mother was in intensive care. Yesterday morning, he and his wife walked to the hospital to be with his mother. Last night his mother passed away.
Today when I went to the other family who is waiting for the official shiva to begin, our friend who'd just lost his mother last night was also there to visit. It would be his only time because tomorrow, shiva will start to be observed by his family.

To say it mildly, it has been one hell of a tough couple of weeks. Yes, we've started a New Year and the famous "Who shall live and who shall die" has been presented to us. Let us hope for a better year and a better new month, which will start toward week's end.

Shavuah tov.

I Came, I Davened, I Ate...

...just about sums up the chagim/holidays for me.

[by the way, I have to try to recreate this post, as it got zapped before it could get published. GRRRRR!!!!]

"Food, glorious food" seemed to be the base line of the holidays. Guesting, hosting and feasting.

The question is now, do I start that intended diet after Shabbos is out this week? Do I wait for a few more weeks until the few upcoming simchas we have on our social calendar have come and gone?

Or do I just eat...and enjoy? With no guilt, no silent reminders that this is worth a few unnecessary calories and that is worth many necessary calories?

...and speaking of guilt....

I'm in the middle of reading a terrific anthology of essays entitled: The Modern Jewish Girl's Guide to Guilt. And yes, food is mentioned in several places...and yes, there is enough to say about food that makes one feel guilty!

I hope you've been enjoying your Yom Tov meals, whether you've cooked them yourself or whether you've partaken of them on others' homes. In case any of you would like to sample TorontoPearl's mediocre cooking and TorontoPearl's husband's amazing cooking (and baking), you are always welcome to join us.

Just do us a favor -- leave your guilt outside the dining room!

Moadim l'simcha and enjoy the rest of Sukkot.