The Road Ends Here

I went to a funeral this morning for a girlfriend's dad. He's suffered from Alzheimer's for nearly a decade and as a result was put in a nursing home some eight years ago. Two weeks ago he became sick and was put in hospital, which is where he passed away on Shabbos...his daughter and wife at his side.

I went to the funeral chapel and to the cemetery, as well. With car blinkers flashing and with police escort at major traffic intersections, we made our way in a procession to the cemetery.

My blood began to roil. Why? Because I could see that there are very chutpahdik drivers out there, who cut in to these funeral processions. It's not as if one ought not to know that this is a procession; it's easily recognized with the many cars, their blinkers and the funeral chapel's placard sticking out of the front hood of each car.

But on at least two occasions en route, someone from the center lane cut into my outer lane, driving in front of me. The second "interference" (for lack of a better word) actually used this tactic for his gain. With the policeman moving us speedily through red lights, and a couple of back streets, this "schnorrer" (for lack of a better word) took advantage of his position in our procession. The minute we hit the main street again, he jumped into the center lane and was off on his merry way.

I immediately called my husband to complain about the chutzpah of some people; he said there ought to be a name for such a person. No doubt there is, but it wouldn't be polite of me to put it in print.

So I challenge any and all of you to come up with a name for "a person who cuts into a funeral motorcade but doesn't belong there." (Maybe together we can come up with some new term that can be entered into that famous Washington Post -- I believe it is -- word contest for new expressions.)

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And on my way out of the cemetery, as I tried to merge into the main intersection, I saw a sign across the street on an empty lot in this residential area. The sign said something like:
FUTURE SITE OF B'NAI BRITH ALZHEIMER'S HOME.

How cruel, I thought, to be placing such a Jewish institution opposite a Jewish cemetery!