Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Someone Left His Good Manners at Home

This is just going to be a rant post.

I was at a very elegant fund-raiser dinner last night for our children's school, which celebrated its 25th anniversary. The dinner honoured the school's nine past presidents, as well as one of its benefactors who died too young, too soon.

Along with being a parent at the school, I volunteer for different programs at the school -- including being on one of the committees affiliated with this dinner. I am never a leader, but am happy to be a follower, thus I sit on committees, I don't head them.

I wouldn't be wrong to say the school population is somewhat elitist, in many ways. Just come to the parking lot and you'll see countless luxury vehicles. Check out the addresses of the students, and you'll see what I mean.

I have no interest ever in "keeping up with Cohens" but it is always clear to see how "money talks."

Last night I was standing alongside my husband as he talked to an acquaintance. A few minutes later, another school parent came hurrying over, hand outstretched to my husband's acquaintance and immediately started talking to the man.

This "young pisher" -- a good 10 years our junior -- not only interrupted my husband's conversation, he didn't even bat an eyelash to my husband, nor to me, and gave a return limp handshake to my dear husband, who stretched out is hand in a menschlich kind of way. I was shocked as I watched this other person, and I could see my husband was also taken aback by this young man's abrupt/rude behaviour.

It isn't as if we don't know him, or he doesn't know us. Our kids are in school together, often socialize together, we've sat at their Shabbos table in the past, we make it a point to be friendly whenever we see he or his wife, even if we don't move in the same circles.

I so would have liked to say something to this guy. And I can imagine him saying "I'm sorry...I didn't realize what I was doing." But I wouldn't give him the benefit of the doubt; I can imagine this scene replaying itself over and over, knowing who this person is and what his station is in life.

I recall relaying something similar in a post a few years ago; the setting primarily was the shul we attended at the time, as well as the kids' school. I think sometimes that rude stems from a feeling of entitlement.

So in the meantime, I have to air my grievances publicly on my blog, without naming this person, but truly wanting to do so.

Rudeness and bad manners simply rub me the wrong way. When a type of arrogance is enmeshed in that rudeness, I am more than peeved.

Aside from wanting to confront such people about their behaviour, more than anything, I hope they will be on the receiving end of such behaviour time and time again. Maybe they'll begin to recognize just how wrong it is....

One can only hope!


Anonymous said...

It has happened to us as well, and the best way to deal with it is to confront the person, as we did. To this day, everytime he sees us, he extends a hand.
With reference to the "elitist" dinner, hakarat hatov is always nice and when a person who has put in endless hours of toil and love is "overlooked" it is quite upsetting and discerning as has happened to us as well!

Robin said...

I've run into a lot of jerks like this guy. I find that since I'm friendly to everyone, and look like I'm 12, certain snobby types will "diss" me at parties or events. Then, they find out I'm a doctor, and want to make nice. Too late.

Danny said...

If it were just a case of horrible social skills, that would be bad enough, but if he dissed you because of his misguided sense of your "importance," then he's really a schmuck. Believe me, living in Los Angeles, with a daughter in private schools, and me pulling up in my 1994 Honda Civic, I know from what you speak!

dan said...

one good rant deserves another

i hope you can find time to blog on this impoirtant discussion pro and con. have you condemned what those kids said on that video and their parents and the Jewish communities that raised them and sent them to Israel? I say this all below with a heavy heart, but i quit...


See my blog post here about why I have renounced Judaism and feel to blog on my rant pro or con. Thanks. danbloom@gmail.com



The Ugly, Sick, Racist Video of Jews Posted on YouTube by Max Blumenthal

DANNY BLOOM BLOGS: "This is such a disgusting video, as a Jewish American man, 60, i am deeply ashamed of these young men and women in the video, and because of this video I am renouncing my Judaism today - publicly. Not that anyone reads my blogs, but here it is. I will never again call myself a Jew. This was a very sad day in modern Jewish life, and the makers and distributors of the video should be ashamed of themselves. Oi."