Monday, April 04, 2011

I See You...but I Don't Hear You

You know that familiar mother stance: hands on hips, foot tapping impatiently...?

This little blog of mine has been doing just that -- waiting and wondering when I'd next make an appearance. Do I tell blog that I walk around formulating little scripts in my head for blog purposes only, then scrap those scripts, opting instead for silence? (Didn't someone once say that silence is golden?)

Same old, same old. Do I have something important to say? Might I offend someone with my words, or cast myself in a negative light?

Should I tell blog that I reluctantly did a poetry reading a few weeks back -- one of only a handful I've ever done -- reading a winning poem and then a couple others I'd written in the past year? Should I tell blog that one of those poems made an audience member cry when they heard it, and that thrilled me? Now blog -- and its readers -- will think me to be a masochist. But no, not so. To hear that someone is moved to tears by my words actually can move me to tears, as it's the greatest compliment you can pay me. Should I tell blog that although I was first reluctant to travel to this Open Mic night, I now want to attend each and every Open Mic night, stand in the spotlight and hear the applause and whispered smiles of my viewers and listeners?

Maybe I should tell blog that I went to a party not too long ago and found that a lot of the party guests were simply F**KED UP. That's how I perceived them after I moved, mingled and conversed. And I am known to be a fairly good judge of character. How did they see me? I wonder.

Does blog have to know that G-d willing there will be an upcoming simcha in our family: a first grandchild getting married in the not-too-distant future.  Hearty mazel tov wishes float her way and I simply anticipate...

Should blog be told that here I sit in the rec room, typing away, with the Pesach kitchen beside me, beckoning to me. I've tried to ignore its calls, but how much longer can I? It warns that it needs a clean sweep and that Passover is in two weeks. My computer screen beckons too, and I turn my back on the kitchen.

Can blog be relied upon to not be too jealous when told I hang out more with Facebook these days? Sometimes I think that the word "blah" is inherent in the word "blog" and that Facebook has more pizazz, being "in your face" and all.

There is much competition in blog land and blog hasn't sensed that yet, so blog mainly opts for that golden silence.

Sometimes that just has to be enough.


Shira Salamone said...

Thus far, I have managed to avoid being ensared in the clutches of Facebook, and I hope to stay that way--for me, there aren't enough hours in the day for all that "social networking." I hope to see you on your blog occasionally, especially when you have a simchah to announce--mazal tov!

Robin said...

Well, I'm glad blog gets a little attention now and then, because I like catching up with you. Congrats on the poetry reading! That sounds really fun!

OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

Ahhhhhh, yes---Facebook seems to have taken over a lot of people who used to blog, OR, STILL blog, but less often---next? They stop blogging all together.

For me, blogging is still my priority. If I am going to be able to express myself in a full way---Blogging is it.

Congratulations on all the good things happening in your life, dear Pearl....The Poetry Open Mic sounds GREAT! And the coming family Mitvah, too!

I hope you won't give up blogging, my dear.....I'm not on Facebook so I will only know what's happening with you if you continue blogging and visiting my blog.
Thabk you for the very sweet and caring comment on my blog, my dear Pearl....I dearly dearly appreciate your words more than I can say.....

Trevor said...

Keep listening to the silence, dear Pearlie, and keep talking to readers you'll probably never meet. It's good for you AND us!

I've got several friends with PD, and have recently found a few blogs that have helped me understand what their experiences (all so different) are like. Here's one. Take a look when you can.

Best wishes,


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rabbi neil fleischmann said...

Yes, tell your blog everthing! And don't be too tempted by Facebook, he'll never leave his wife for you.

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