Max Speaks

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I've been asked by Max the shih-poo to keep this short and sweet, because it's way past his bedtime and he needs his beauty sleep, and doesn't really have much time to concentrate on contributing to a "blodge".

"Max, that's blog, not blodge. Neil Kramer's mother talks about blodges. But it's blog. B-L-O-G. You know, Max. Blog. Rhymes with dog. D-O-G."

Anyhow, so here's the long and short of it.

Family dog dies in June. Family very sad. Family doesn't think they'll get another dog. Family begins to think about getting another dog. Family begins to think about adopting another dog.

Hubby looks online. Hubby and wife spot Max/Snoopy online. Snoopy lives very far away, will need to travel to us via modern transportation. Family adopts dog. Arrangements are made online with dog shadchan (matchmaker).

Children do not know family has adopted dog. Children see picture of Snoopy on home computer screensaver. "Who is this dog?" "Just a dog whose picture we liked." "N, do you like this dog?" "Yes." "What do you think is a good name for a dog?" "Max." Hubby and wife like this name. Decide to change it.

Dog is supposed to arrive by van. Bad weather ensues. Trip put off for another week. Dog is supposed to arrive by van. Van trouble. Trip delayed. Agreed that dog will come via airplane; hubby and wife will not pay extra because of problems at the other end.

Wife begins to laugh to self. She pictures hubby going to the airport to the Arrivals, holding up a big sign with "Snoopy", and Snoopy coming through automated door, pulling his own online luggage with the strap in his teeth. In truth, dog comes via cargo. Very scared; shaking like a vibrator for quite some time. Warms up to hubby and wife. Children in bed; do not see dog.

In morning, children discover there is a new dog. Children come downstairs, with an expression of being awestruck -- the same expression when mother brought new babies home from the hospital. Youngest child explains to the other two, "This is Max. He's the dog from the computer. HE'S FAMOUS!!!"

Children elated; parents elated; puppy elated.

No pets were hurt for the re-telling of this story.

Max asked me to share with you his new motto in life: PEEING IS BELIEVING.

Max also told me to tell you people that my friend Randi is very funny (read her blog and you will see what I mean). When sent a photo of Max that is different (in which Max's fur is a little wilder looking) than the one in the last post, Randi said, "He's adorable. If you put a stick in him, you could use him as a mop!" Max thought this was a very funny line, and came up with this retort: "If Pearl's hubby would've have gotten a chihuahua as he suggested they get, he could've put a stick in the chihuahua and used him as a squeegee!"