Sunday, February 08, 2009

Whining about Wine

Got a mailing into the house from a wine/beer/liquor outlet and was perusing it today.

Even if these wines were Kosher, you would not see me buying any wine product that is called FAT BASTARD!

Could you imagine me hosting a dinner party and serving wine, handing a glass to a cherished friend and saying, "Here you go, Fat Bastard!" Don't think that friendship would last too long thereafter.

Nor would I be supporting DAN AYKROYD's label with his name on it. Is that supposed to sell me on his product? Yes, I know he's become a vintner, but I associate him with comedy, with Second City, with Saturday Night Live, with the Blues Brothers. Not with grape stomping and corks and bouquets.

I would find his vintage more appealing if his name were hidden in tiny print on the bottom of the back label, and if he just had a catchy name for his libation: Smooth & Rich. Okay, so maybe he is also smooth and rich as a person, but I'd never automatically assume that name is associated with Dan Aykroyd unless I read it somewhere.

A few years back I read about a wine that came in cartons. CARTONS? My kids' juice comes in cartons, milk comes in cartons. How could wine come in cartons? French Rabbit Wine? Merci, mais non. Pas pour moi.
Believe it or not, I'll settle for the old and familiar Manischewitz at times, Bartenura Moscato at other times or Rashi Joyvin. You can leave the Fat Bastard out of my wine cellar!


Elie said...

Is Dan Aykroyd's wine made from liquefied bass?

Elie said...

On less silly note, while I certainly agree that none of those pictured look very appealing, I stay away from the Moscatos and Joyvins as well - *way* too sweet! We go for the "fancier" (i.e, dryer) wines - of which there's a great kosher selection these days.

SuperRaizy said...

That "fat bastard" wine is a riot!

Mindy said...

I met Dan Aykroyd a few years ago when they were using the building I worked in for a movie shoot. My office was his office, where his character ran a brain injury clinic. I called him Mr. Aykroyd but all I kept thinking about was how I'd read years ago that he has webbed feet. I can't confirm this because he had shoes on, but if it's true -- would that make it harder or easier to stomp the grapes?