I'm Still Here...

...just rather busy and preoccupied these days with a number of things.

Among those things, my mother-in-law had some serious surgery and a prognosis one doesn't generally care to hear. She's currently recovering in hospital...

I have a bar mitzvah to plan for late June and have done nothing yet. Yes, I know the date, I know the venue, I know the type of meal I want, but I've not done anything aside from formulate some random names for guest lists. Planning a long-awaited simcha is never easy, but when illness is hovering in the background, it's really not easy.

I am on a contract till the end of February supposedly, but am crazy busy currently meeting deadlines and making sure that the 7 textbooks (university/college level) I'm responsible for as a production editor will make their printer dates with all the necessary information pertaining to the text appearing in the text as it should. I've been doing a fair bit of weekend or late-night, at-home overtime work to meet these deadlines and I'm simply wasted!

I'm busy with my kids and their homework and carpooling and...

To sum up, I'm here, but I'm not here. I tune in to some of your posts, but not all. I tune in to your posts some days, not others.

I want to write something witty, something creative for you, but it's not there -- at least not at the moment.

What is pretty consistent in my life right now is a sense of anxiety -- there's so much going on, coming at me/us from all different directions, it's tough just to keep up.

I can't wait for my Shabbos nap; in a way, I can't wait for my contract to end. I want to reclaim a sense of self, some true "me" time...and my husband and I have to be able to find some true "we" time, as well.

And hopefully I'll soon be able to reclaim a sense of "blogger", as well.

In the meantime, you can catch all my reruns in the right-hand margin. The archives take you back to December 2004. Why not start there and reread my words from the beginning? See if I wrote differently back in the early days of my blog, if my tone was different, if my humor was funnier?

Perhaps if you reread my early stuff, you'll realize you're sorry that you only began to tune in to me and my blog in May 2007 or -- GASP! -- even later than that; you'll realize you were missing a good thing from the start.

One can always wish, can't they...?

Life's Funny that Way

My last post was a shout-out to blogland -- to the people whose blogs I read and to the people who read my blog. It was a virtual thank-you for doing what you do, being who you are...and ultimately letting me be who I am.

I was just reviewing my roster of posts to see what kind of posts I was writing around this time in May 2006 and May 2005. And I found this post written nearly to the date that I wrote my post this past Friday, May 18th. And then I found this post written nearly to the date that I wrote my post this past Friday, May 18th.

It certainly has not been a conscious decision to write every mid-May about my fellow bloggers, to thank them and acknowledge their presence (and in some cases -- presents!) in my life.

I wonder what it is about this time of year that has me doing this... (cue "Twilight Zone" theme song). Some people, who have more than one child, give birth to their children around the same time in different years. Is it that sort of phenomenon?

In any case, if I'm still blogging next May, keep an eye open for another shout-out.

*****
And by the way, my shout-out from last year has reference to blogger Ten Li Koach. I just wanted you all to kvell and know that she has other reasons now to request Ten Li Koach (give me strength): she was blessed, giving birth to a beautiful and healthy baby daughter a few weeks ago. Pu, Pu, Pu. Wish her a hearty mazel tov.
Blogging has exposed me to life, death, simchas and sadness. I've ridden an emotional rollercoaster along with many bloggers whose heartfelt emotions come through their words.
To write that way is a gift. To read the words is also a gift.