Monday, March 28, 2005

Best Not To Assume

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When I was dating my now-husband a dozen years ago, he taught me the philosophy "Don't assume." I think most of you know how the saying goes: Don't assume because then you make an ass out of you and an ass out of me. (excuse my French)

I've tried to heed his advice since then, but it isn't always easy. And often when I assume something, and it doesn't happen, I feel great disappointment more than I do anger. I'm disappointed by the fact that whatever I'd expected to happen didn't, and by the fact that I'd set myself up for a fall. I think that's what hubby was trying to teach me all those years ago.

Being a thinking, feeling, sensitive person doesn't always help; in the arena of "assuming," these attributes can actually hinder. I have the habit of sometimes assuming the most basic things, which usually center around common decency, but often the person in question fails the test. What is good for me doesn't necessarily make it good for another person. What I deem to be something relatively easy to do, the other person might consider a chore, and thus, doesn't fulfill it. What I think might be a big deal to me is actually a petty detail to others.

Assumption is based on perception, and often our life views are askew or our perceptions are tinted or someone is near-sighted and the other people are far-sighted. Whatever the reason, we don't necessarily see eye to eye on issues, assumptions are made...and grievances may result...

I hope that reading such a post can make you look inward a bit and allow you to be more conscious of the assumptions you might have of others or situations. We can all stand to learn from one another, can't we...?

BTW, I ran into some technical glitches when I went to "Publish Post" and nothing was happening, so of course I figured that I'd lost this post. Lo and behold, a few minutes later, I tracked it down just where I'd left it. Moral of this story? Best Not To Assume.