Wednesday, January 13, 2010


When I was out this morning, I retrieved a message from my home phone number. At first I couldn't make out who it was 'cause I heard several voices speaking to one another. But then I singled out my husband's voice. I was waiting to hear him say something directed at me. But he didn't. Instead, I got to hear a five minute conversation (I hung up after 5 minutes; no doubt it continued) between my husband and one of his co-workers, and was just about to hear some juicy tidbit of information, when I decided I should hang up. I figured I'd speak to my husband later in the day.

I did tell him about that phone call and what I was hearing but that I never heard anything directed to me.

Not ten minutes ago, the phone rang. I saw from call display that it was my husband's cell number. Even at this late hour, he was not home from work yet, having stayed for an evening meeting. I answered hello, thinking he might be calling to say he's on his way.

Instead I heard him talking to someone else. I said hello several times, realized he couldn't hear me and hung up.

So I've come to realize after today's two phone calls from him that...

it's either his ass or his hip or his waist that's calling me.

Unwittingly, those parts of the body are striking whatever speed-dial number I am on his phone and calling me. Those anatomical parts don't necessarily want to talk to me, but they certainly like to make crank phone calls!

You know the expression "to talk out of one's ass"...? Well, today, I guess my husband did!

"Butt dialing": the name given to unintentional dialing that occurs when keys are inadvertently pressed on cell phones stowed in pants pockets or purses.