Friday, June 03, 2005

I'm Not Too Sure About That Second Quote; Care To Comment?

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Better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self. — Cyril Connolly

Those who write clearly have readers, those who write obscurely have commentators. — Albert Camus

Barney Is Behaving Badly

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I have three young children. These children need to brush their teeth at least twice a day. These children should not use adult toothpaste so I buy them children's toothpaste.

Supermom buys them fun toothpastes with superheroes, princesses, adventurers depicted on the tubes. Supermom buys them musical tube toothpastes. Children know not to use musical tube toothpastes on Shabbos or Yom Tov.

Barney is a musical tube toothpaste. Barney plays that haunting -- read: now annoying -- melody, "Barney Is a Dinosaur..." Children know that they have to brush for as long as the music plays.

Some time ago, the tube got ferkakt, lid was broken off from tube and musical cap sat alone. At some other point in time, musical cap got wet from sitting on the vanity beside the sink. Music cap is now ferkakt. Music cap has a mind of its own...deciding to play music whenever it wants, by itself, without any prompting from children.

Supermom is at her computer late one night when she hears a tinny, faint sound of music. She is scared, does not know where music is coming from. She traces it to its source: musical tube toothpaste cap. Supermom slams the cap on the vanity to make the music stop. Supermom feels that she is in a modern-day episode of THE TWILIGHT ZONE.

Supermom forgets the episode and goes about doing all the things that earned her the title Supermom (she might have earned it, but truly does not deserve it; title should be bestowed upon hubby because he is Supermom and Superdad; now I am just being Supersilly!).

For the past few days, Barney is behaving badly. He seems to want to have the last word. He entertains us with his music at all hours of the night, when children and Superdad are sleeping and Supermom is being Superblogger.

Tonight Barney was relegated to a bathroom drawer. That wasn't good enough for him. He insisted on being heard. I truly wonder when he will next be showcasing his identifying song. I truly wonder if I should give him the final curtain and toss him away...into the garbage, where all toothpaste tubes and their caps end up.

Perhaps not just yet. I think Barney is proving that he is SuperToothpasteCapEntertainer. After all, he can be anything and do anything for: [everbody together now] "Barney is a dinosaur from our imagination..."