Yes, 'tis true -- I am a lifetime member of a special club: The Pack Rat Club. Whatever my status -- single or married, young or old, daughter, wife or mother -- I have been a member in good standing for well over three decades.
Lookin' for a Fiddler on the Roof Broadway show ticket from August 25, 1990? Yes, I have it. Seeking that university essay on "Biblical Imagery in THE STONE ANGEL"? Yup, I've got that, too. I even have a list of favorite boys' names and girls' names that I compiled many many years ago, names that I thought that I might one day name any children that I might have. I think at least one of those names got picked when I gave birth.
I have all, and I mean ALL, the letters that were received from an American penpal while I was in my early to mid-teens. Maybe I have to thank G-d that the friendship (which averaged two letters per month) fell by the wayside after a few years. Who knows? I might've had to add an exclusive "letter room" to my house.
Is being a pack rat a sickness, an obsession, a form of entertainment or just a conversation piece? I don't know -- I've always just thought myself to be nostalgic, or called myself a sentimental fool.
Over the past few years, along with my husband's help and some heavy-handedness on my part, I've learned to comb through my "treasures," salvage what is REALLY important, and discard the rest.
I'm actually one of those moms who has kept EVERY little piece of art that my children brought home, not displaying every piece on the fridge door, mind you, but stashing the creativity in a bag. But those bags accumulated -- what with having three children -- so with hubby's help I saved "the best" and tossed the rest. SO who cares if I have 3 mock seder plates, or 3 Megillat Esthers, or 3 "Bruchim HaBaim" signs for my sukkah. Only problem? These days I have to find which bag I stored them in!
Yes, I'm still a member of this not-so-exclusive club, but I'm not keeping up so much with the other lifetime members; I don't go to so many of their meetings anymore, either. If I did, I'd just have to save the programs...and who's got room for those!?
**********************
Just a little poll:
If anyone out there has been reading this, do you think I have some start-up material here for a personal essay to be submitted to a daily newspaper? I'd up the humor, up the examples, etc. Would you find such a piece entertaining to read in a local or national newspaper?
Tuesday, January 25, 2005
Thursday, January 20, 2005
Grab a Snack at the Blogeteria
I try to be simple but eloquent in what I say in my blog; I cannot spout politics or Halacha or too much about psychology or current events, so I try to keep things simple. Perhaps it sounds as if I'm pussyfooting around and being very cautious in what I tend to say, thus keeping private matters private, and maintaining a reasonally low profile in the blogging world. But I am content enough with my pearlies of wisdom.
But, man, have I been reading some "let it all out" entries that people feel the need to relay. Not everyone uses discretion, "shmirat lashon" or fine-tuning with their words. They let it all hang out! Of course, I don't have to choose to read these blogs, but some of them seem to draw readers in with their "shmutzy" tones, or revelation of family secrets, or their promiscuity. You can go from reading blogs that sound staid and idyllic to blogs that go deep behind the scenes...scenes I don't think anyone really needs to read about.
And I've learned about the underworld of bloggers -- the black (mad) hatters, the velvet kippot keepers, the wanna-lose-their-sheitel types -- in essence the ultra-Orthodox who have had it up "to there" with being fed Halachic truths, and maintaining lifestyles that are "yashar, yashar". These folks have discovered an outlet for their frustrations, their confusion, their anger and disgust with all they've been taught.
It is sad to read about these people who, in some shape or another are leading double lives as frummies to those around them, but are beginning to feel more secular in their hearts. In a way I'm pleased that they've found the blogging outlet a wonderful tool to use to rant about their disillusionment with Yiddishkeit, but I also feel sad that many people reach that point in their lives...and those closest to them do not even realize it. Instead, these people have to use mass media as a tool, and anonymous readers as an audience to help strengthen their belief of disbelief.
I will not name these bloggers, I will not point a finger, but I wish them all much strength to either come back to the path of the righteous, or continue on their path to....?
But, man, have I been reading some "let it all out" entries that people feel the need to relay. Not everyone uses discretion, "shmirat lashon" or fine-tuning with their words. They let it all hang out! Of course, I don't have to choose to read these blogs, but some of them seem to draw readers in with their "shmutzy" tones, or revelation of family secrets, or their promiscuity. You can go from reading blogs that sound staid and idyllic to blogs that go deep behind the scenes...scenes I don't think anyone really needs to read about.
And I've learned about the underworld of bloggers -- the black (mad) hatters, the velvet kippot keepers, the wanna-lose-their-sheitel types -- in essence the ultra-Orthodox who have had it up "to there" with being fed Halachic truths, and maintaining lifestyles that are "yashar, yashar". These folks have discovered an outlet for their frustrations, their confusion, their anger and disgust with all they've been taught.
It is sad to read about these people who, in some shape or another are leading double lives as frummies to those around them, but are beginning to feel more secular in their hearts. In a way I'm pleased that they've found the blogging outlet a wonderful tool to use to rant about their disillusionment with Yiddishkeit, but I also feel sad that many people reach that point in their lives...and those closest to them do not even realize it. Instead, these people have to use mass media as a tool, and anonymous readers as an audience to help strengthen their belief of disbelief.
I will not name these bloggers, I will not point a finger, but I wish them all much strength to either come back to the path of the righteous, or continue on their path to....?
Tuesday, January 18, 2005
In Search of ... What?
So my deadlines for freelance writing and copy editing have passed. I met the deadlines and could then breathe a heavy sigh of relief, generally pleased with my output, my ability to correct the work of others as well as my own.
But now there are no immediate turnaround dates looming over my head -- no reference books to confer with, no style sheets to keep, no red pencils to sharpen or Post-its to write on. There are no word counts to try and adhere to, no reworking of sentences "just one more time," no accompanying letters to write to the editor.
Zip, nada, "kloom"!
And you know what, folks? I feel at somewhat of a loss. I don't quite know what to do with myself with this "free time." Of course, I have a family to look after, and I do, but after they've gone to bed, for once I, too, can go to bed. I don't have to lay out manuscript pages on the dining room table in just the right order, I don't have to lug out Webster's and Chicago Manual of Style from their places on an upstairs shelf, I don't have to put on my thinking cap, which I already discarded when I walked in the door after work!
I do have a story that I've been asked to write -- and I promised that I could only TRY to do so. Not because I don't have the time, but because I haven't written a short story since my teens probably. And believe me, that's quite a number of years ago! So I have the brilliant idea that's been given the green light; it's now just a matter of executing it, playing with the idea, shaping it and reshaping it till it feels just right.
So why am I addressing my blog instead of confronting head-on the short story, "The Face in the Mirror"?
But now there are no immediate turnaround dates looming over my head -- no reference books to confer with, no style sheets to keep, no red pencils to sharpen or Post-its to write on. There are no word counts to try and adhere to, no reworking of sentences "just one more time," no accompanying letters to write to the editor.
Zip, nada, "kloom"!
And you know what, folks? I feel at somewhat of a loss. I don't quite know what to do with myself with this "free time." Of course, I have a family to look after, and I do, but after they've gone to bed, for once I, too, can go to bed. I don't have to lay out manuscript pages on the dining room table in just the right order, I don't have to lug out Webster's and Chicago Manual of Style from their places on an upstairs shelf, I don't have to put on my thinking cap, which I already discarded when I walked in the door after work!
I do have a story that I've been asked to write -- and I promised that I could only TRY to do so. Not because I don't have the time, but because I haven't written a short story since my teens probably. And believe me, that's quite a number of years ago! So I have the brilliant idea that's been given the green light; it's now just a matter of executing it, playing with the idea, shaping it and reshaping it till it feels just right.
So why am I addressing my blog instead of confronting head-on the short story, "The Face in the Mirror"?
Friday, January 14, 2005
Isn't It Funny?
I work in book publishing. I enjoy reading. I also write -- and sometimes publish -- poetry primarily.
Isn't it funny then -- not as in "ha-ha," but as in a great coincidence -- that the first poem I ever shared with the public eye was a submission for a literary contest put out by our public library. That poem, so simplistic as it was written by an eight-year-old, won 1st prize in my age category and was posted for all the library patrons to see. My prize? A lovely book.
I guess I've definitely met my calling: books, writing and publishing poetry...and considering myself a winner every day -- in every way!
Isn't it funny then -- not as in "ha-ha," but as in a great coincidence -- that the first poem I ever shared with the public eye was a submission for a literary contest put out by our public library. That poem, so simplistic as it was written by an eight-year-old, won 1st prize in my age category and was posted for all the library patrons to see. My prize? A lovely book.
I guess I've definitely met my calling: books, writing and publishing poetry...and considering myself a winner every day -- in every way!
Thursday, January 13, 2005
What Would the Poskim Say?
This happened to me many years ago when I was much younger and not as enlightened. I will relay the situation, and I'd appreciate reading any follow-up Halachic insights or firm answers.
In my middle teen years, I once went to use an ATM that was in a supermarket. (Perhaps I should say that the supermarket is located in a neighborhood, surrounded by many apartment buildings in which senior citizens live.) I put in my card, requested $20 and when the money was spit out, I received my $20 PLUS another $60. The withdrawal slip only showed that $20 had been removed from my account.
I was somewhat stunned but looked around the machine on the floor to see if there were any dropped withdrawal slips, thinking that perhaps someone had dropped it and forgotten to take their money. The money had been spit out with mine; it was not in the slot when I started my transaction.
I didn't know what to do -- I'm an honest person by nature, but sometimes suspicious, and thought that if I go to the store manager and explain the situation, he might just pocket the money for himself and not contact the bank whose machine it is in his store. But then again, might one of the pensioner seniors have somehow left it behind? Or was the ATM just malfunctioning and it was my lucky day...and perhaps I should go back for some more good luck later in the day, and treat the ATM like a winning slot machine?
I took my $20 and that $60 and went home. I put away the "found" money and didn't use it for a long time. I can't remember if I used it all for personal reasons or perhaps gave some tzedaka with it.
I did get a response from a learned cousin of mine years later when I posed the question. If I recall correctly, I was told that it was sort of "open territory" money -- didn't really belong to the bank, so I was able to claim it for myself. Which I had done.
But as you can tell, I've never forgotten that experience, and still wonder about the rights and wrongs of it. If anyone can advise, thank you.
In my middle teen years, I once went to use an ATM that was in a supermarket. (Perhaps I should say that the supermarket is located in a neighborhood, surrounded by many apartment buildings in which senior citizens live.) I put in my card, requested $20 and when the money was spit out, I received my $20 PLUS another $60. The withdrawal slip only showed that $20 had been removed from my account.
I was somewhat stunned but looked around the machine on the floor to see if there were any dropped withdrawal slips, thinking that perhaps someone had dropped it and forgotten to take their money. The money had been spit out with mine; it was not in the slot when I started my transaction.
I didn't know what to do -- I'm an honest person by nature, but sometimes suspicious, and thought that if I go to the store manager and explain the situation, he might just pocket the money for himself and not contact the bank whose machine it is in his store. But then again, might one of the pensioner seniors have somehow left it behind? Or was the ATM just malfunctioning and it was my lucky day...and perhaps I should go back for some more good luck later in the day, and treat the ATM like a winning slot machine?
I took my $20 and that $60 and went home. I put away the "found" money and didn't use it for a long time. I can't remember if I used it all for personal reasons or perhaps gave some tzedaka with it.
I did get a response from a learned cousin of mine years later when I posed the question. If I recall correctly, I was told that it was sort of "open territory" money -- didn't really belong to the bank, so I was able to claim it for myself. Which I had done.
But as you can tell, I've never forgotten that experience, and still wonder about the rights and wrongs of it. If anyone can advise, thank you.
Wednesday, January 12, 2005
The Five-Year Plan...Not!
Life is funny -- you make schedules, you make plans, you book appointments, you chart routes both literally and figuratively. And you try to maintain those schedules, follow through with those plans, keep those appointments and try not to get lost when you take those decided-upon routes.
I know people who prepare budgets, discuss future schools for their t00-young children, simchas for their too-young children, vacations for themselves, home-improvement ideas for the exterior and interior of their home -- these are people with a five-year plan.
Is there something wrong with me if I don't have that kind of plan? If I can't make that kind of plan? I can't even plan for next week, or next month or later in the year -- how can I plan for the next five years?
Our shul requires families to book with deposit a bar mitzvah three years in advance because of competitive popularity of this particular shul -- how can I know three years prior, when my son is ten years old, what kind of/quality of simcha we'll be having, therefore which of the shul's several social halls I will want to use, whether or not my son will read the whole parsha or just haftorah, or even if we'll still be living in the area and attending that shul?
A lottery. The bar mitzvah dilemmas in the shul are settled by a lottery. Remember that infamous short story "The Lottery" by Shirley Jackson...? Not sure I want to partake in this bar mitzvah lottery. Why, what am I -- a rebel with a CLAUSE!?
I'm always being told by people around me, "Pearl, gotta remember... zrizut." [expedience, speediness] In other words, adhere to the motto "The early bird catches the worm." I don't like worms and I'm not in the mood to catch any. So does that make me a bad person?
I've learned from personal experience that even the best-made plans encounter glitches -- life gets in the way. Whether it be due to illness or something far worse, whether it be due to acts of nature, whether it just be due to cold feet on your or someone else's part, "things don't always go according to plan."
So there you have it. In that cliche. Proof that I shouldn't make a five-year plan -- so why is everyone else not listening?
I know people who prepare budgets, discuss future schools for their t00-young children, simchas for their too-young children, vacations for themselves, home-improvement ideas for the exterior and interior of their home -- these are people with a five-year plan.
Is there something wrong with me if I don't have that kind of plan? If I can't make that kind of plan? I can't even plan for next week, or next month or later in the year -- how can I plan for the next five years?
Our shul requires families to book with deposit a bar mitzvah three years in advance because of competitive popularity of this particular shul -- how can I know three years prior, when my son is ten years old, what kind of/quality of simcha we'll be having, therefore which of the shul's several social halls I will want to use, whether or not my son will read the whole parsha or just haftorah, or even if we'll still be living in the area and attending that shul?
A lottery. The bar mitzvah dilemmas in the shul are settled by a lottery. Remember that infamous short story "The Lottery" by Shirley Jackson...? Not sure I want to partake in this bar mitzvah lottery. Why, what am I -- a rebel with a CLAUSE!?
I'm always being told by people around me, "Pearl, gotta remember... zrizut." [expedience, speediness] In other words, adhere to the motto "The early bird catches the worm." I don't like worms and I'm not in the mood to catch any. So does that make me a bad person?
I've learned from personal experience that even the best-made plans encounter glitches -- life gets in the way. Whether it be due to illness or something far worse, whether it be due to acts of nature, whether it just be due to cold feet on your or someone else's part, "things don't always go according to plan."
So there you have it. In that cliche. Proof that I shouldn't make a five-year plan -- so why is everyone else not listening?
Sunday, January 09, 2005
A Note from a Friend
This is an English language web site that describes a very sad, yet moving chapter inTaiwan's history -- about a Hsinchu husband and father during the White Terror period who had to hide from the government police -- for 18 years, hiding in a small space between two walls in his brother's home. Read it and weep! History is worth remembering....
http://shihruchen.blogspot.com
http://shihruchen.blogspot.com
Deadlines, Deadlines
HELP! I'm trapped in deadline land. For over four weeks I've known about deadlines that I have -- to do freelance editing and freelance writing. Yes, I worked on my assignments, a little at a time; my spare time is limited, after all! I could have done more earlier; I should have done more earlier.
As a writer/editor, I wait for that creative muse to find me and hit me over the head. Sometimes she's busy with other folks, and can't get to me so fast. Other times, she's got the address, but just can't find me for the flurry of paperwork atop my desk, or the piles of "stuff" that block her way -- that might be a laundry basket, some unwashed dishes, coats that need to be hung up... But when we do meet up, often it's with that too-soon-for-comfort turnaround date looming over my head.
In this case, that date happens to be tomorrow! Will I get to sleep tonight, or will I have to take work off tomorrow to meet that deadline? Have I done as fine a job as I can possibly do with these two assignments? Time will tell. If I'm able to link you to my article in a future blog, I'll know that everything worked out okay...even if it was somewhat stressful to get there. And if my freelance editing piece passes muster, then all is good "in my book."
As a writer/editor, I wait for that creative muse to find me and hit me over the head. Sometimes she's busy with other folks, and can't get to me so fast. Other times, she's got the address, but just can't find me for the flurry of paperwork atop my desk, or the piles of "stuff" that block her way -- that might be a laundry basket, some unwashed dishes, coats that need to be hung up... But when we do meet up, often it's with that too-soon-for-comfort turnaround date looming over my head.
In this case, that date happens to be tomorrow! Will I get to sleep tonight, or will I have to take work off tomorrow to meet that deadline? Have I done as fine a job as I can possibly do with these two assignments? Time will tell. If I'm able to link you to my article in a future blog, I'll know that everything worked out okay...even if it was somewhat stressful to get there. And if my freelance editing piece passes muster, then all is good "in my book."
Walkin' the Dog
We moved into a new neighborhood not all that long ago; it wasn't because we were "movin' on up" -- we'd already had a lovely large home, not a starter home by any means. But we moved for our children to be closer to their school, to their friends, to a good shul that offered appropriate programs for them. Isn't it only normal for all parents to do things for their children's betterment?!
Lucky us, we managed to buy and move into a beautiful neighborhood that has some VERY EXPENSIVE, UPSCALE homes -- our home is one of the older -- and cheaper -- ones, but land around us is still being developed, and the nearby golf course is not being parceled off for that, thank goodness.
Anyhow, when we moved, His Royal Pug Highness, Tyson Pugsley, of course moved with us. Not only were we in a new neighborhood, so was this king of the canines! There were new trees, new mailboxes, new fire hydrants to sniff out. New routes to plan out. New parks to check out. He wasn't complaining one bit -- there were lots of new doggie pals for him to power walk with. But let me tell you, power walking with a dog is not the same thing as power walking with a person. You attempt to walk, and he uses everything in his power to stop you short in your tracks, with him at the other end of the leash, doing his thing.
But one of the nicest things for me is to be able to go out into this residential neighborhood in the early morning or in the latest of night, and walk, and feel safe, and not have to look twice over my shoulder or around the corner. Sometimes I meet another female midnight dog walker, and I think that she, too, is fearless. We're not pushing our luck here by doing the late-night solo stroll, we're just lucky to be able to do it SAFELY in our neighborhood!
It's 12:30 in the morning now, and I think I'll go take Tyson out for a breath of fresh air. Anyone care to join us...?
Lucky us, we managed to buy and move into a beautiful neighborhood that has some VERY EXPENSIVE, UPSCALE homes -- our home is one of the older -- and cheaper -- ones, but land around us is still being developed, and the nearby golf course is not being parceled off for that, thank goodness.
Anyhow, when we moved, His Royal Pug Highness, Tyson Pugsley, of course moved with us. Not only were we in a new neighborhood, so was this king of the canines! There were new trees, new mailboxes, new fire hydrants to sniff out. New routes to plan out. New parks to check out. He wasn't complaining one bit -- there were lots of new doggie pals for him to power walk with. But let me tell you, power walking with a dog is not the same thing as power walking with a person. You attempt to walk, and he uses everything in his power to stop you short in your tracks, with him at the other end of the leash, doing his thing.
But one of the nicest things for me is to be able to go out into this residential neighborhood in the early morning or in the latest of night, and walk, and feel safe, and not have to look twice over my shoulder or around the corner. Sometimes I meet another female midnight dog walker, and I think that she, too, is fearless. We're not pushing our luck here by doing the late-night solo stroll, we're just lucky to be able to do it SAFELY in our neighborhood!
It's 12:30 in the morning now, and I think I'll go take Tyson out for a breath of fresh air. Anyone care to join us...?
Wednesday, January 05, 2005
Do Check Out This Site
http://www.nextbook.org/
If you have time on your hands, and you're tired of just reading blogs, do check out this Web site: it's stimulating, entertaining and offers tidbits of information that might not normally reach you via other media sources.
If you have time on your hands, and you're tired of just reading blogs, do check out this Web site: it's stimulating, entertaining and offers tidbits of information that might not normally reach you via other media sources.
Tuesday, January 04, 2005
Just Because...
And just because it was kindly suggested to me in the comments section to share some of my poetry in my blog, I'll provide you with a poem that was published in a Canadian Jewish literary review a few years ago. It was written in memory of an aunt of mine who lived in Eastern Europe and died in 1942, age 15 -- at the hands of the Nazis. My daughter is named for this cherished little sister of my father.
As a child of a survivor, the Holocaust has played a great role in my life, in my way of thinking, of living, of being. And it often translates into poetry, some of which has been published, other poems just waiting patiently to be shared.
I am glad this one was published, and I am pleased to share it with you.
The Doll
Her body,
tattered and torn,
discolored dress
unraveling at the seams,
face smudged with dirt.
But her eyes,
lifelike in their ocean blue,
stare unceasingly at the world –
as if taking in all the fine details,
as if memorizing them
for some future time.
The little girl
clutches her prized possession.
Her dress, too, is tattered and torn,
its yellow star fading, but not fast enough.
Her face, too, is smudged with dirt.
Her ocean-blue eyes,
so like the doll’s
as they stare unceasingly at the world –
as if documenting the fine details,
as if memorizing them
for some future time.
The child looks
at the man
who offers her pieces of chocolate.
“Czekolada, czekolada.”
He holds out the treat to her.
She shakes her head no.
“Matka, Matka.”
Mother, Mother,
she replies.
“Martwy.”
Dead, he says matter-of-factly.
And as the little girl holds her doll
to her chest, she points to it.
“Lalka.” Doll.
And then she points to herself.
“Matka.”
As a child of a survivor, the Holocaust has played a great role in my life, in my way of thinking, of living, of being. And it often translates into poetry, some of which has been published, other poems just waiting patiently to be shared.
I am glad this one was published, and I am pleased to share it with you.
The Doll
Her body,
tattered and torn,
discolored dress
unraveling at the seams,
face smudged with dirt.
But her eyes,
lifelike in their ocean blue,
stare unceasingly at the world –
as if taking in all the fine details,
as if memorizing them
for some future time.
The little girl
clutches her prized possession.
Her dress, too, is tattered and torn,
its yellow star fading, but not fast enough.
Her face, too, is smudged with dirt.
Her ocean-blue eyes,
so like the doll’s
as they stare unceasingly at the world –
as if documenting the fine details,
as if memorizing them
for some future time.
The child looks
at the man
who offers her pieces of chocolate.
“Czekolada, czekolada.”
He holds out the treat to her.
She shakes her head no.
“Matka, Matka.”
Mother, Mother,
she replies.
“Martwy.”
Dead, he says matter-of-factly.
And as the little girl holds her doll
to her chest, she points to it.
“Lalka.” Doll.
And then she points to herself.
“Matka.”
Rabbi Twerski's Words of Wisdom for Today
Tevet 23
Where were you when I established the earth? (Job 38:4).
One who reads the book of Job cannot but have compassion for just and pious Job, who appears to be unfairly subjected to suffering. All the rational arguments that his friends offer to account for his innocent suffering appear hollow, and the only acceptable answer is God's remark to Job, "Where were you when I established the earth?"
In other words, a human being can see only a tiny fragment of the universe, an infinitesimally small bit of time and space. Our vantage point is much like a single piece of a huge jigsaw puzzle, a tiny fragment of the whole picture, which makes no sense on its own. Only when the entire puzzle is assembled do we realize how this odd-shaped piece fits properly. Since no human being can have a view of the totality of the universe in both time and space, we cannot possibly grasp the meaning of one tiny fragment of it.
This explanation does not tell us why the innocent may suffer, but only why there cannot be a satisfactory explanation. Acceptance of suffering therefore requires faith in a Creator who designed the universe with a master plan in which everything that happens has a valid reason. This belief may not comfort a sufferer nor prevent the sufferer from becoming angry at the Designer of the universe. The Torah does not in fact condemn the anger of the sufferer (Bava Basra 16b), but does require that he accept adversity with trust that God is just (Deuteronomy 32:4).
Acceptance does not mean approval, but it does allow us to avoid the paralyzing rage of righteous rage, and to go on with the business of living.
Today I shall ...... try to realize that nothing ever happens that is purposeless, and that I must go on living even when I disapprove of the way the world operates.
Where were you when I established the earth? (Job 38:4).
One who reads the book of Job cannot but have compassion for just and pious Job, who appears to be unfairly subjected to suffering. All the rational arguments that his friends offer to account for his innocent suffering appear hollow, and the only acceptable answer is God's remark to Job, "Where were you when I established the earth?"
In other words, a human being can see only a tiny fragment of the universe, an infinitesimally small bit of time and space. Our vantage point is much like a single piece of a huge jigsaw puzzle, a tiny fragment of the whole picture, which makes no sense on its own. Only when the entire puzzle is assembled do we realize how this odd-shaped piece fits properly. Since no human being can have a view of the totality of the universe in both time and space, we cannot possibly grasp the meaning of one tiny fragment of it.
This explanation does not tell us why the innocent may suffer, but only why there cannot be a satisfactory explanation. Acceptance of suffering therefore requires faith in a Creator who designed the universe with a master plan in which everything that happens has a valid reason. This belief may not comfort a sufferer nor prevent the sufferer from becoming angry at the Designer of the universe. The Torah does not in fact condemn the anger of the sufferer (Bava Basra 16b), but does require that he accept adversity with trust that God is just (Deuteronomy 32:4).
Acceptance does not mean approval, but it does allow us to avoid the paralyzing rage of righteous rage, and to go on with the business of living.
Today I shall ...... try to realize that nothing ever happens that is purposeless, and that I must go on living even when I disapprove of the way the world operates.
Publishing Houses Take Over Your Streets
www.hometownannapolis.com/cgi-bin/read/2005/01_03-22/CBN
If you can, do check out this link. It was a cute article sent to me today from a friend in Taiwan.
Being that I work in the publishing world, I couldn't help but enjoy what I was reading, and want to share it with you.
And as I told my friend, I wouldn't mind living on Penguin Place or Doubleday Drive. How about you...?
If you can, do check out this link. It was a cute article sent to me today from a friend in Taiwan.
Being that I work in the publishing world, I couldn't help but enjoy what I was reading, and want to share it with you.
And as I told my friend, I wouldn't mind living on Penguin Place or Doubleday Drive. How about you...?
Sunday, January 02, 2005
The Makings of a Poet
So, New Year, new beginnings... Nu?
Remember that resolution list I mentioned, with one of the items being that I should continue to write...and submit my stuff? Well, last night after Shabbos, I opened up my e-mail to find a message from an American Jewish literary journal, telling me that a poem I'd submitted to them a couple of weeks ago was accepted for publication in an upcoming issue.
It is not a new poem; I wrote it last year and submitted it to a Canadian literary journal, alas to no acceptance. But this is even better for me -- it will bring me exposure in the States. Maybe I'll become a household name -- in some homes. "Look at that Pearl's writing. She's good...!" I am thrilled, and the acceptance of this particular poem, "And One More for Good Luck," touches a personal heartstring as the poem is about two people I love very much.
Now, do you think this might be a good sign for a possible acceptance from L.A.'s Jewish Journal -- I also recently submitted some of my "pearls" to them, in this case personal essays. The essays are also not new material, but pieces I wrote five-plus years ago.
Perhaps everything old becomes new again...
Might this 43-year-old follow suit...?
Remember that resolution list I mentioned, with one of the items being that I should continue to write...and submit my stuff? Well, last night after Shabbos, I opened up my e-mail to find a message from an American Jewish literary journal, telling me that a poem I'd submitted to them a couple of weeks ago was accepted for publication in an upcoming issue.
It is not a new poem; I wrote it last year and submitted it to a Canadian literary journal, alas to no acceptance. But this is even better for me -- it will bring me exposure in the States. Maybe I'll become a household name -- in some homes. "Look at that Pearl's writing. She's good...!" I am thrilled, and the acceptance of this particular poem, "And One More for Good Luck," touches a personal heartstring as the poem is about two people I love very much.
Now, do you think this might be a good sign for a possible acceptance from L.A.'s Jewish Journal -- I also recently submitted some of my "pearls" to them, in this case personal essays. The essays are also not new material, but pieces I wrote five-plus years ago.
Perhaps everything old becomes new again...
Might this 43-year-old follow suit...?
Friday, December 31, 2004
I'm Gonna Make a Resolution... (think Beatles, and "Revolution" tune)
Do I dare make resolutions for the New Year? Should I give a shout-out to 2005 that I'll do what I say I'll do? Or would I be lying?
I made one major one for Rosh Hashanah -- I joined a women's-only health club, planning to go at 6 a.m. 3-5 days a week when said club opens its doors. But my resolution has fizzled so far -- no 6 a.m. visits have been made, and I've only gone about 8 times since I joined 2 1/2 months ago.
Should I pick up on that resolution and re-resolve to visit the club religiously...or at least VISIT THE CLUB?
I think I'll put it on my list of things to do. But in no particular order, I should also resolve to:
* Follow through with what I set forth in motion, ie. querying publishers about picture-book manuscripts or poetry that I have written, requesting they view my work. I have been given the green light from several, but have not taken that next step. I should.
* Keep writing personal essays, poetry, children's books. I should not just list the titles and ideas I have for creative pieces, but should actually breathe live into these projects.
* Make time for me.
* Make more time for my husband and children...and parents and siblings and their families.
* Enjoy each moment to the best of my ability because time is fleeting.
* Continue to strive to be the best person that I can be.
* Continue to look for the good in the people around me, even if it's not so obvious.
* Continue to be thankful to Hashem for all that I am, all that I have and all that I can be.
Wishing you all a Good Shabbos. Wishing you a bright and beautiful 2005.
I made one major one for Rosh Hashanah -- I joined a women's-only health club, planning to go at 6 a.m. 3-5 days a week when said club opens its doors. But my resolution has fizzled so far -- no 6 a.m. visits have been made, and I've only gone about 8 times since I joined 2 1/2 months ago.
Should I pick up on that resolution and re-resolve to visit the club religiously...or at least VISIT THE CLUB?
I think I'll put it on my list of things to do. But in no particular order, I should also resolve to:
* Follow through with what I set forth in motion, ie. querying publishers about picture-book manuscripts or poetry that I have written, requesting they view my work. I have been given the green light from several, but have not taken that next step. I should.
* Keep writing personal essays, poetry, children's books. I should not just list the titles and ideas I have for creative pieces, but should actually breathe live into these projects.
* Make time for me.
* Make more time for my husband and children...and parents and siblings and their families.
* Enjoy each moment to the best of my ability because time is fleeting.
* Continue to strive to be the best person that I can be.
* Continue to look for the good in the people around me, even if it's not so obvious.
* Continue to be thankful to Hashem for all that I am, all that I have and all that I can be.
Wishing you all a Good Shabbos. Wishing you a bright and beautiful 2005.
Please, and Thank You
I kept a journal for YEARS--books upon books, details upon details. The books were not just catchalls for my thoughts, but also held mementos: ticket stubs, airline boarding passes, snippets of articles, quotes I cherished, cartoons from the New Yorker, ads from New York magazine (funny, there's a trend there; I think this Torontonian wanted to take a bite out of the Big Apple), comedy material I'd written, etc.
I loved journal writing, but knew that I was doing it just for me -- nobody would share my words, nobody would have access to these sacred books that had my personal stamp all over them....
But a blog is somewhat different; it is an extension of the journal writing I did, but the personal words have become public words, the personal thoughts finding their way across vast distances that lay well beyond my computer screen.
So to that end, I must ask a favor of you pearlies of wisdom readers...if there are any. Could you please leave me a comment every now and then, just to let me know that I do have people interested in what I have to say. I have chosen to keep a public blog, not a personal diary, and to that end I need readers. It's difficult to write in a vacuum, without getting any feedback.
But I musn't be negligent and I must say thank you to those of you folks who have already left comments since I started my blog earlier this month. So thank you. Keep writing, and I will, too!
I loved journal writing, but knew that I was doing it just for me -- nobody would share my words, nobody would have access to these sacred books that had my personal stamp all over them....
But a blog is somewhat different; it is an extension of the journal writing I did, but the personal words have become public words, the personal thoughts finding their way across vast distances that lay well beyond my computer screen.
So to that end, I must ask a favor of you pearlies of wisdom readers...if there are any. Could you please leave me a comment every now and then, just to let me know that I do have people interested in what I have to say. I have chosen to keep a public blog, not a personal diary, and to that end I need readers. It's difficult to write in a vacuum, without getting any feedback.
But I musn't be negligent and I must say thank you to those of you folks who have already left comments since I started my blog earlier this month. So thank you. Keep writing, and I will, too!
Wednesday, December 29, 2004
"I'm Excellent"?
In one of the books that I recently read for my job, there is what I consider to be a great exchange.
"How are you?"
"I'm excellent -- if things were any better, it would be unfair to everybody else."
How I wish each and every one of us could say that today -- but unfortunately we can't. There is illness, death, forces of nature at work, there are people who have lost their homes and their livelihoods; there are countless details, big and small, that hold us back from giving an answer like this when we're asked the question "How are you?"
But, oh, how I wish we could respond in unison, "I'm excellent" -- and mean it!
"How are you?"
"I'm excellent -- if things were any better, it would be unfair to everybody else."
How I wish each and every one of us could say that today -- but unfortunately we can't. There is illness, death, forces of nature at work, there are people who have lost their homes and their livelihoods; there are countless details, big and small, that hold us back from giving an answer like this when we're asked the question "How are you?"
But, oh, how I wish we could respond in unison, "I'm excellent" -- and mean it!
Tuesday, December 28, 2004
Tsunami Terror
How can I sit in the comfort of my own home, amidst my loving family, and not make mention of what's going on at the other end of the world?
I heard the news on the radio, I read online the numbers of missing and dead, but until I saw the images on television news, and heard the interviews of people who were caught up in the midst of this terror, I could not begin to fathom the depth of the destruction.
A cultural face of our earth has been terrorized by nature -- isn't nature supposed to be beautiful for the most part, encouraging growth and rebirth? It isn't supposed to rob us of lives and livelihoods and homes and countrysides. But it does...
So today I must say a silent prayer for all those people whose lives were lost, all those children who were too young or too weak to fight this natural disaster, all those whose families have been torn apart. And I pray that those who are still missing might miraculously be found, alive and well, to carry on as best they can, as beacons for others.
I heard the news on the radio, I read online the numbers of missing and dead, but until I saw the images on television news, and heard the interviews of people who were caught up in the midst of this terror, I could not begin to fathom the depth of the destruction.
A cultural face of our earth has been terrorized by nature -- isn't nature supposed to be beautiful for the most part, encouraging growth and rebirth? It isn't supposed to rob us of lives and livelihoods and homes and countrysides. But it does...
So today I must say a silent prayer for all those people whose lives were lost, all those children who were too young or too weak to fight this natural disaster, all those whose families have been torn apart. And I pray that those who are still missing might miraculously be found, alive and well, to carry on as best they can, as beacons for others.
Monday, December 27, 2004
No Two Pearls Are Alike
Did you know that no two pearls are alike? One may wear a strand of pearls and at first glance, they all look the same, but on closer regard, one sees it's true: no two pearls are alike.
I think that the same holds true for people named Pearl -- we might be similar: in our modes of dress, in behaviors, in language we use, in our sense of humor. I have a close friend named Penina, which means Pearl in Hebrew. In so many ways we're the same, but in so many others we're different. Someone can say to me, "You remind me so much of Penina"; they do not say, "You're just like Penina." I am reminiscent of her; I am not interchangeable with her.
When I was in Israel twenty years ago, I roomed on kibbutz with Israeli soldiers who, because they were frum, did kibbutz duty. They were constantly telling me,"Yesh lach jewkim barosh," translating as: You have bugs in your head, off beat ideas. Or else they used a slang expression, totally new to me: "At g'noova," translating as: You're stolen. They tried to further explain what they meant and kept convincing me that it was complimentary--I was unique, one of a kind.
In my growing-up years, until my mid-teens, I did not want to be different, I didn't want to be one of a kind; I wanted to be like everyone else and be accepted as such. But that wasn't always the case -- I had an old-fashioned name; I was a child of European-born parents; I wasn't cool; I was academically inclined; I was a bookworm-- I was considered different than my school peers. In the impressionable years, it's tough to be different. The ego rides a roller coaster, sometimes leaving its passengers behind, as they stand and watch the ride go on without them.
But somewhere along the way, I grew more comfortable in my skin, more self-assured of my abilities and my strengths, and more accepting of other people's biases and immature attitudes. It was okay to be the Pearl I was meant to be. As I would describe myself, "Conservative...but with a twist!"
Just recently I was told by a friend: "...But you are Pearl -- an original in every way, and for that I am greatly relieved."
I think I've come pretty far in my "pearldom." It's nice to know that this Pearl is definitely one of a kind and precious to many...
I think that the same holds true for people named Pearl -- we might be similar: in our modes of dress, in behaviors, in language we use, in our sense of humor. I have a close friend named Penina, which means Pearl in Hebrew. In so many ways we're the same, but in so many others we're different. Someone can say to me, "You remind me so much of Penina"; they do not say, "You're just like Penina." I am reminiscent of her; I am not interchangeable with her.
When I was in Israel twenty years ago, I roomed on kibbutz with Israeli soldiers who, because they were frum, did kibbutz duty. They were constantly telling me,"Yesh lach jewkim barosh," translating as: You have bugs in your head, off beat ideas. Or else they used a slang expression, totally new to me: "At g'noova," translating as: You're stolen. They tried to further explain what they meant and kept convincing me that it was complimentary--I was unique, one of a kind.
In my growing-up years, until my mid-teens, I did not want to be different, I didn't want to be one of a kind; I wanted to be like everyone else and be accepted as such. But that wasn't always the case -- I had an old-fashioned name; I was a child of European-born parents; I wasn't cool; I was academically inclined; I was a bookworm-- I was considered different than my school peers. In the impressionable years, it's tough to be different. The ego rides a roller coaster, sometimes leaving its passengers behind, as they stand and watch the ride go on without them.
But somewhere along the way, I grew more comfortable in my skin, more self-assured of my abilities and my strengths, and more accepting of other people's biases and immature attitudes. It was okay to be the Pearl I was meant to be. As I would describe myself, "Conservative...but with a twist!"
Just recently I was told by a friend: "...But you are Pearl -- an original in every way, and for that I am greatly relieved."
I think I've come pretty far in my "pearldom." It's nice to know that this Pearl is definitely one of a kind and precious to many...
Saturday, December 25, 2004
It's the Little Things That Count
Well, good people, that Arctic tundra from a few days ago has lingered, but it's had a little help from snow plows and shovels and snow blowers.
Today shone bright but cold, and normally a day for me to announce, "I'm not going to shul, I'm going to relax at home." But I had no choice: we were invited out to lunch after shul.
So my husband and the two oldest bundled up in their winter finest of boots, hats, gloves, snow pants, down-filled jackets, and sub-zero-temperature heavy parkas and headed out early to make the normally-30-minute trek...today, perhaps to take a bit longer.
An hour later, I, too, bundled myself up and my youngest son, not yet five, ready to encounter the Toronto winter elements. Now, aside from the frosty air and snowy and icy surfaces, what was to make this day different for us, was that it was to be my son's literally first trek to shul. This child was accustomed to being pushed in a stroller or pulled in a wagon for 30 minutes, which normally become 35-40 as I have to stop and listen to what he's saying, or ask what he just said, or check out a bird nest he's pointed out, or have to ask a passing dog owner what the dog's name is -- the walk is usually a walk of discovery between this mother and child.
But today I knew that the stroller's wheels wouldn't manage to cut through the sidewalk's snowy surfaces without breaking off, and the wagon's wheels would probably tumble off their axis, as well. It was a day for my son to walk.
We held hands and set out, slipping and sliding along the way, climbing up and down man-made "mountains" at street corners and major intersections, discovering this winter wonderland of ours. Not once did he complain, not once did he cry for the lack of stroller to shepherd him to shul; he only asked which shul we would be going to, because we're members of two of them, one closer than the other. And today we were going to the one farther away!
My little trooper managed, and together we made the "treacherous" walk in about 40 minutes. I told him how proud I was of him, making his first walk to shul, in these particular conditions. Pleased with this compliment, he tromped into shul with his rosy cheeks, with his cherubic grin and said, "Can I take off my boots...hat...jacket...snowpants now?"
Like I named this piece, it's often the little things that count.
I hope that you, as parents, also learn to consider each baby step a giant step...in the right direction!
To that end, here are the beautiful lyrics to Canadian singer-songwriter Amy Sky's "Ordinary Miracles." She, too, recounts in this song, which she wrote for her son, everyday accomplishments that count for so much more.
ORDINARY MIRACLES
AMY SKY- DAVID PICKELL
At six weeks you learned to smile
at three months you learned to laugh
at six months you cut a tooth
and at ten months you took a step
At two years you made a best friend
at three years you rode a bike
at four years you learned to skate
and at five years you learned to write
CHORUS
Just ordinary miracles
ordinary miracles
but all the same they're miracles to me
the days that Ill remember well
have a simple kind of wonderful
of ordinary miracles
Your silky head beneath my chin
for bedtime books and lullabies
your angel kiss upon my cheek
your teddy bear clutched to your side
How soon the bike wheels turn to car wheels
the lullabies to rock and roll
the teddy bears to pretty girls
and instead of you these thoughts I'll hold
CHORUS
Just ordinary miracles
ordinary miracles
but all the same they're miracles to me
the days that Ill remember well
have a simple kind of wonderful
of ordinary miracles
BRIDGE
And I know the day will come
that you'll spread your wings and fly
but I'll treasure these moments all my life
A gentle kind of wonderful
the sweetest days are always full
of ordinary miracles
each time I hold you near
it's an ordinary miracle
Latte Music (SOCAN)/ Warner Chappell Music Canada
Today shone bright but cold, and normally a day for me to announce, "I'm not going to shul, I'm going to relax at home." But I had no choice: we were invited out to lunch after shul.
So my husband and the two oldest bundled up in their winter finest of boots, hats, gloves, snow pants, down-filled jackets, and sub-zero-temperature heavy parkas and headed out early to make the normally-30-minute trek...today, perhaps to take a bit longer.
An hour later, I, too, bundled myself up and my youngest son, not yet five, ready to encounter the Toronto winter elements. Now, aside from the frosty air and snowy and icy surfaces, what was to make this day different for us, was that it was to be my son's literally first trek to shul. This child was accustomed to being pushed in a stroller or pulled in a wagon for 30 minutes, which normally become 35-40 as I have to stop and listen to what he's saying, or ask what he just said, or check out a bird nest he's pointed out, or have to ask a passing dog owner what the dog's name is -- the walk is usually a walk of discovery between this mother and child.
But today I knew that the stroller's wheels wouldn't manage to cut through the sidewalk's snowy surfaces without breaking off, and the wagon's wheels would probably tumble off their axis, as well. It was a day for my son to walk.
We held hands and set out, slipping and sliding along the way, climbing up and down man-made "mountains" at street corners and major intersections, discovering this winter wonderland of ours. Not once did he complain, not once did he cry for the lack of stroller to shepherd him to shul; he only asked which shul we would be going to, because we're members of two of them, one closer than the other. And today we were going to the one farther away!
My little trooper managed, and together we made the "treacherous" walk in about 40 minutes. I told him how proud I was of him, making his first walk to shul, in these particular conditions. Pleased with this compliment, he tromped into shul with his rosy cheeks, with his cherubic grin and said, "Can I take off my boots...hat...jacket...snowpants now?"
Like I named this piece, it's often the little things that count.
I hope that you, as parents, also learn to consider each baby step a giant step...in the right direction!
To that end, here are the beautiful lyrics to Canadian singer-songwriter Amy Sky's "Ordinary Miracles." She, too, recounts in this song, which she wrote for her son, everyday accomplishments that count for so much more.
ORDINARY MIRACLES
AMY SKY- DAVID PICKELL
At six weeks you learned to smile
at three months you learned to laugh
at six months you cut a tooth
and at ten months you took a step
At two years you made a best friend
at three years you rode a bike
at four years you learned to skate
and at five years you learned to write
CHORUS
Just ordinary miracles
ordinary miracles
but all the same they're miracles to me
the days that Ill remember well
have a simple kind of wonderful
of ordinary miracles
Your silky head beneath my chin
for bedtime books and lullabies
your angel kiss upon my cheek
your teddy bear clutched to your side
How soon the bike wheels turn to car wheels
the lullabies to rock and roll
the teddy bears to pretty girls
and instead of you these thoughts I'll hold
CHORUS
Just ordinary miracles
ordinary miracles
but all the same they're miracles to me
the days that Ill remember well
have a simple kind of wonderful
of ordinary miracles
BRIDGE
And I know the day will come
that you'll spread your wings and fly
but I'll treasure these moments all my life
A gentle kind of wonderful
the sweetest days are always full
of ordinary miracles
each time I hold you near
it's an ordinary miracle
Latte Music (SOCAN)/ Warner Chappell Music Canada
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