FINAL Sale

Oh. My. G-d.

I was just on the COSTCO website, checking out the location of one in Toronto near my parents. I want to go and see what sorts of paper goods they have -- if any -- for making a simcha.

I scanned the site banner of features: decor, food, furniture, funerals.

FUNERALS?!?!?

Of course I had to check it out -- it's broken down into categories with visuals: caskets, pet urns, memorial flowers, etc.

Oy... I can't help but laugh as I imagine this scene...

LAST STOP FUNERAL HOME. Vera and family are gathered for visitation from 2:00-4:00. Her mother, Eldora, died of old age at the ripe age of 97, and people are coming to pay their last respects and view the body.

Nestled in a baby pink, with mother-of-pearl inlay, coffin, she looks so peaceful, with her rouged cheeks and frosted pink lipstick. Her regular housedress has been replaced with a smart-looking denim pantsuit and orthopedic loafers.

People comment as they pass.

"Vera, I'm so sorry about Eldora. She was a wonder still at her age. Playing pinochle with the cronies at the seniors' lodge and baking muffins."

"She looks better than ever," is whispered between two lady friends.

"Vera. What a darling coffin! Did the funeral parlor supply it?"

Vera: "No. I got it online, ON SALE -- it was a clearance item -- at COSTCO! Marked down from $2500 to $800...can you believe it?"

Friend: "That is a bargain."

Vera: "Anything for Mother... And did you notice her pantsuit? COSTCO too! A special from last year's fall close-outs...I bought it just for this occasion, and even showed it to Mom, who gave it her blessings. You know, I guess when COSTCO calls itself a 'big box store,' they really mean it!"

Costco Observations

It is rare for me to go to Costco or any of these humongous warehouse type city stores. I'm not partial to crowds, and honestly, I don't need corporate size stacks of cleaning supplies or canned goods. I am known to be most practical, aka the coupon queen, so my spending habits in supermarkets are rather tame. But let me loose in Costco and I might go haywire!

The other night my husband and I went -- primarily to get new tires for my car and to have them put on. In the meantime, while waiting, of course we went into the store and spent several hundred (some of them unnecessary) dollars! Some were frivolous buys, others were practical. But the truth is that for some things, Costco is not a great "metziah"; any local supermarket or department store offers better sales, even on individual items that you'll buy multiples of in lieu of one bulk item. Just ask me; I know these things.

It is most interesting to enter a Costco at the start of the holiday season and see the carts filling up fast and the holiday fever in the air. I take the time to see what people are buying and imagine scenarios in which they'll share these purchases.

Gigantic bags of frozen shrimp were in many carts. As was bottled water. As was toilet paper.

Hmmm...eating too much shrimp makes you thirsty, I guess...and then you need to go to the bathroom.

I saw people with industrial size bags of frozen french fries, ketchup cans, mayonnaise bottles, bagged lettuce, and I figured they own restaurants and buy supplies here at a supposedly cheaper cost.

Italian fruit cakes, packages of chocolates, electronic gadgets, games tables, jewellery piled up in shopping carts. Someone will be most happy this Xmas.

For our family, the Kosher meat section is ideal and we're lucky to have 2 full-size stand-up freezers and two fridge freezers in which to store the chicken and beef that we bought. But in all honesty, for many of the other great Kosher items that are offered in bulk for fridge and freezer, I wouldn't be able to store all the merchandise. So I left it in the store for someone else to buy.

So, I guess the moral of this post is: shop wisely (which is not necessarily a Costco thing), and if you are at Costco, amuse yourself by observing others and imagining how they use the merchandise they buy.

Have a good Shabbos.