I'll Take 10 %!

...spotted on the YidVid blog:

Montreal: A Belzer chasid won 28,000,000 dollars in the national 649 Lottery, that is 280,000 dollars for Tzedaka.

1. Why is a Belzer chassid buying lottery tickets?

2. Who made the assumption that the chassid will, in fact, follow through and give 10% to tzedaka?

3. Where was this advertised? Usually large prize lottery winners go to the headquarters and have their pics taken, while they hold up an oversized check showing the amount of their winnings. Did this individual agree to that, to be publicly photographed so that all the media -- and Jewish organizations, gemachs, agencies, schools, shuls -- will be notified of this big winner? That way they'll all know who to come and call on!

Look Who's Back in Town!

When I was preparing my son for his first stay at sleepover camp for six weeks, I started to collect snacks to send with him. I wanted to make sure all the snacks were non=perishable and parve.

Avi had a simple request: Tam-Tams.

I went to one supermarket -- no Tam-Tams. I went to another supermarket -- no Tam-Tams there either.

Where did they go? Were they so popular post-Pesach, that people had snatched them up, clearing the shelves in the Kosher aisles of supermarkets?

I finally managed to find a clerk in an aisle to ask and was told that the distributor hadn't delivered them in several weeks, that there was some type of problem.

Aha! Now I know what the problem was...

Tam-Tams...it's great to see you back. Make sure you stick around awhile, okay?

Manischewitz(R) Tam Tam(R) Crackers Are Back!

SECAUCUS, N.J., Aug 07, 2008 /PRNewswire via COMTEX/ -- Where Are the Tam Tam Crackers? Manischewitz(R) the leader in quality specialty foods, announces that the popular great tasting snack cracker that has been a mainstay in households across America for over 65 years, will return to local supermarkets starting this week!

Tastier than ever, Tam Tams are available in 8 ounce boxes in such delicious flavors including Original, Garlic, Everything, Whole Grain Garden, Herb, Lightly Salted and No-Salt. They are great with your favorite spread or right from the box.

"With the opening of our new plant and ovens in Newark, New Jersey, operations needed to shut down for a short period of time to install the upgraded and state-of-the-art new matzo and cracker ovens," said David Rossi, VP, Marketing, R.A.B. Food Group. "We are grateful for our consumer support during this time and are proud to say that the Tam Tams you know and love are back and better than ever."

R.A.B. Food Group, LLC is a 120 year old branded food manufacturer including the largest processed kosher food company in North America. It manufactures and markets Manischewitz(R), Rokeach(R), Horowitz Margareten(R), Mishpacha(R), Goodman's(R), Season(R) and Guiltless Gourmet(R) brand products. For more information, visit the company's website, www.rabfoodgroup.com. The company offers a diversified line of premium food products that cover approximately 60 different categories.

The Manischewitz brand was founded in a small bakery built to make Passover matzo in 1888 by Rabbi Dov Behr Manischewitz in Cincinnati, Ohio. In 1932, Rabbi Manischewitz opened a plant in Jersey City, NJ, replacing the operation in Cincinnati. This move paved the way for the introduction of new products like Tam Tam Crackers, Chicken Soup, Chicken Broth and Gefilte Fish. Today, Manischewitz continues to introduce unique, delicious, premium specialty food products such as Brisket & Steak Seasoning and Wasabi Creamy Horseradish sauce.

For more information on Manischewitz products, log onto www.manischewitz.com.

* - Packaged Facts - The U.S. Market for Cookies, August 2004
SOURCE R.A.B. Food Group

Something out of "Home Alone"

A 4.5-year-old girl asked a policeman in Ben-Gurion International Airport “where are my parents,” after realizing she was unable to find them. Police acted promptly and in a short time realized that the parents boarded a flight for Paris with 4 of their 5 children, forgetting their youngest in the airport.
The family, numbering 7 persons, arrived at the airport with 18 pieces of luggage according to Sun Dor Airlines officials, reportedly telling airline employees they are leaving Israel for good.
For reasons that are not known, the family was running late as they made their way to the gate and the gate official passes did not realize that the parents handed them seven boarding passes while only six people got onto the plane. One of the employees of the airport’s duty free shops told police he noticed the little girl wandering around on her own, later realizing she was left behind.
Policeman Ofir Ochaiyon explained the “little girl, a really cute girl, began pulling on my trousers asking, ‘where are my parents?’”
Ofir added it was fortunate that the little girl was extremely intelligent and calm, assisting him in determining exactly what was taking place. “I even offered her ice cream” he explained, “but she responded that her parents told her not to eat anything that does not have a badatz hechsher.” He eventually found her ices with an acceptable hechsher and she gladly accepted the well-intentioned gift.
Sarit Ben-Eden, a policewoman in the airport station explained that the girl provided her with the names of her parents, but she was getting scared and began to cry while waiting in the station. While the announcement of the lost child was aired on the airport’s public address system, no one responded. After Ben-Eden checked with passport control police, she was shocked to learn that her parents and her siblings had already cleared passport control and made their way to their flight to Paris.
Passport Control Chief Inspector Amnon Shmueli contacted Son Dor, requesting flight officials verify if the family was indeed on the flight. To his amazement, the parents and other children had taken off for Paris, forgetting the little girl. It was only some 40 minutes into the flight after the captain called the mother to the front of the plane was she made aware that one of her children was missing.
“The parents were in shock” airline officials report, adding they sat speechless in their seats, unable to understand how such an event was permitted to occur without taking notice.
They parents were informed the girl would be arriving on an El Al flight to Paris two hours later. Upon their arrival in Charles de Gaulle International Airport they immediately went to the El Al area to wait for her. Eventually, they were reunited.
Ben-Gurion International Airport Chief Yigal Shabtai stated that when the parents return to Israel, they will be taken for questioning and they may face charges of endangering a minor. Son Dor explains that the fact that flight personnel did not take notice of the missing passenger was a most unfortunate and extremely rare occurrence.

(Yechiel Spira – YWN Israel)

Your Evening Smile*

Tired and Thirsty

The Italian says, I'm tired and thirsty. I must have wine.

The Scot says, I'm tired and thirsty. I must have scotch.

The Swede says, I'm tired and thirsty. I must have aquavit.

The Russian says, I'm tired and thirsty. I must have vodka.

The German says, I'm tired and thirsty. I must have beer.

The Greek says, I'm tired and thirsty. I must have ouzo.

The Jew says, I'm tired and thirsty. I must have diabetes.

*Although diabetes is now present in my family -- and perhaps in yours -- I still love this joke, and hope that nobody is offended by it.

Sorry, Jamie Lynn Spears...

...I neglected to wish you a mazel tov on your baby daughter, born last month.

The bottom line is that I hadn't known you'd already given birth. Somehow that news item had escaped me.

But today, while reading that you and Mr. Fiance were planning a September "small, backyard wedding," (small...as in three acres) and that you were already down to pre-pregnancy weight, i thought, "Hey, something's not right here. I've been left out of the loop."

So I sought out a birth announcement...and found it in the fact that you sold exclusive "1st baby photo rights" of Maddie to OK! magazine.

Good for you...getting some large lump sum ought to cover the salary you had to forego as Zoey in Zoey 101. After all, you -- nice, little role model to tweener girls -- had gotten knocked up at age 16 (okay, so in April you turned 17) and the show got cancelled after its third season.

And it's so nice you met your man in church; how Christian of you.

Well, happy baby & happy marriage, Jamie. Hope it's everything you ever dreamed of...while you were a little girl and looking up to big sister/role model Britney.

By the way, why didn't you name your daughter Zoey? Just askin'....

Your Morning Smile

Rebecca & Jacob

Jacob, age 92, and Rebecca, age 89, living in Florida , are all excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding, and on the way they pass a drugstore. Jacob suggests they go in.

Jacob addresses the man behind the counter: "Are you the owner?"

The pharmacist answers, "Yes."

Jacob: "We're about to get married. Do you sell heart medication?"

Pharmacist: "Of course we do."

Jacob: "How about medicine for circulation?"

Pharmacist: "All kinds."

Jacob: "Medicine for rheumatism and scoliosis?"

Pharmacist: "Definitely."

Jacob: "How about Viagra?"

Pharmacist: "Of course."

Jacob: "Medicine for memory problems, arthritis, jaundice?"

Pharmacist: "Yes, a large variety. The works."

Jacob: "What about vitamins, sleeping pills, Geritol, antidotes for Parkinson's disease?"

Pharmacist: "Absolutely."

Jacob: "You sell wheelchairs and walkers?"

Pharmacist: "All speeds and sizes."

Jacob: "Good! We'd like to use this store as our bridal registry."

Sorrow & Simcha: Life's Juxtaposition

You may link to my piece in this week's online edition of New York's Jewish Press. (I will buy a print edition on Friday, its release date.)

It was very minimally edited and thankfully did not lose any of its essence. The one error is in my bio: the link to my blog was typed incorrectly. It should not have had a period after the www -- that link takes you to a single post of mine, written nearly 4 years ago.

I hope you enjoy my writing.


**Update: the link was corrected apparently; thus my first commenter was able to find me okay.
Thank you, Jewish Press, for making the correction.

Four Seasons Lodge

I was perusing an American publication online and discovered this documentary: Four Seasons Lodge.

Taken from a program where it premiered at a film festival in Washington last month:

In 2005, New York Times journalist Andrew Jacobs found a group of Holocaust survivors who, since 1979, have spent their summers together at the Four Seasons Lodge, one of the few remaining bungalow communities hidden in upstate New York’s lush Catskill mountains. Jacobs was so mesmerized by the group that he returned as a filmmaker to document the rich traditions, lifelong friendships, and collective memory of the residents before they disappeared.

Now in their 80s and 90s, the German and Polish Jews of the Four Seasons Lodge are among the few who continue the Catskill summer vacation tradition. Every summer they gather, laughing and bickering like family, recounting unthinkable times through bittersweet tears and finding strength and refuge in each other’s company.

Lodge president Carl patrols the grounds, resolving issues and squabbles. Vice president Hymie’s handyman skills and humor are always in demand. Genya and Olga, friends for over 65 years, confide and argue like sisters. Jacobs shows them in the present, and traces their history through revealing archival footage and photos. As summer nears its end, the Lodge’s future is uncertain: some residents push for its sale while others are adamant that their refuge remain intact. Yet whatever happens, the family bonds will remain.

A comical yet touching portrait, FOUR SEASONS LODGE celebrates the lives of those who have overcome unfathomable events. As one of the residents proclaims, “To live this long, this well, is a victory.”

Check out the trailer.

Shameless Self-Promotion

After my mother-in-law passed away last month, I felt the need to write something -- not in particular about her, but about the experience of going through two major milestones in one week: her death on the Monday evening and my oldest child's bar mitzvah on the Shabbos.

I had gone to a wedding on the night before she passed away, I went to her funeral on the Tuesday, I went to my son's bar mitzvah on Shabbos and I went to an unveiling on Sunday. The only thing missing was a bris.

Talk about life cycles...

I wrote my personal essay, then looked around to find it a home in print. Aish.com was the first place that came to mind, but they didn't want it. The Canadian Jewish News agreed to hold on to it for a while, should there be extra space in the paper (but never actually saying they would run it, either). I tried Mishpacha magazine with a query, but didn't hear back.

Then I recalled THE JEWISH PRESS, out of NY. Years ago, when I was still single, I'd had two personal humorous essays appear in their singles' pages. I'd been thrilled with the venue, knowing that I'd be hitting the right target audience with my words.

So I went straight to the top and queried the senior editor of The Jewish Press and ... long story short... Jason Maoz agreed to print the piece.

The newspaper is accessible throughout the U.S. and Canada, with a large proportion of the readership in the NY/New Jersey area and perhaps in Florida as well. My piece will appear somewhere in the newspaper this Friday, August 1st. It will be available in their online edition Wednesday, July 30th.

In bungalow colonies in the Catskills, in family rooms across the five boroughs, at lakefront summer homes this Shabbos, people will be reading my words. Strangers will be getting a glimpse into my psyche. My late mother-in-law, z"l, will be receiving some form of recognition.

It's always nice to get published; it's nicer to get published when a piece has personal significance in your life.

My words will have found a home and for that I'm grateful.

Visiting Day

My son who was just bar mitzvahed 6 weeks ago is experiencing his first time at sleepover camp...SLEEPAWAY camp to you Americans.

My husband and I are living vicariously through Avi because neither one of us has experienced overnight camp before. Although Avi is primarily with classmates from his school, there are campers from NY, Montreal, Ottawa, other U.S. states, including California.

Today was visiting day. It worked out well because Avi had come home for Shabbos with two friends so they could attend a close friend's bar mitzvah, so we were simply driving him back to camp.

And what is visiting day at camp?** Half-hour 'display' sessions and sessions for separate swimming, and an entire hour and a half geared to registering kids for the Summer 2009 season, which happens to also be the camp's 50th anniversary.

Visiting day is also like going to your kids' school or going to shul: shmoozing with other parents, making small talk, comparing life notes, etc. The truth is I'm not too good at that -- or even comfortable with that -- in any setting! But it's truly not me that counts this time. It's our son Avi...who just happens to be having a great time.

And for that we're grateful. Okay, so what if he's not trying every activity? Okay, so what if he's not caught in too many camp photos? Okay, so what if he's only written a note or two to us?

He's having a good time, and that's what matters.

And we've already opened the discussion re. the possibility of my daughter going next summer -- her bat mitzvah year...

Perhaps I'll be writing a blog post next mid-July for Visiting day 2009...!

**And what is Visiting day at camp...aside from parents portaging coolers and hampers, lawn chairs and knapsacks, barbecues and pizza boxes, blankets and cameras all the way from their vehicles in the parking area to park themselves and their campers or staff members somewhere and have mini feasts. (Jews and food... isn't that what life's all about?)

Cue the Kewpie Doll!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YdURxR5Tmuk

I believe this is my favorite movie scene of all time -- check the video between 1:57 and 2:15 minutes. It makes me laugh every time -- however many times! -- I see the film.

Note a young Lucille Ball.

We Need to Hear from More People Like This One

National Post Published: Tuesday, July 22, 2008


Re: Grim Exchange For Israel As Soldiers' Bodies Returned, July 17.

I read with revulsion of the celebrations in my native country over the return of terrorist Samir Kuntar; never in my life have I been more ashamed to be Lebanese.
That someone who murdered innocent civilians would be hailed as a national hero stands against the core of human decency that I would have expected from my fellow citizens. Kuntar crushed the skull of four-year-old Einat Haran, after forcing her to witness the murder of her father, Danny. These are the acts of a cold-blooded killer that ought to be reviled. Instead they are being championed by my countrymen and used as propaganda to further fuel the murderous agenda of groups such as Hezbollah.

Something for Baby Boomers

http://www.newsday.com/news/opinion/ny-walt-babyboomers-blurb,0,1036393.blurb


TURN UP YOUR VOLUME!!!

Yiddish, Hebrew, or Yenglish?

I just completed a wonderful survey about the development/use of American Jewish language. I read about it on Nextbook, a wonderful site about Jewish culture.

You, too, can complete this survey. Go to http://www.surveymonkey.com/s.aspx?sm=9eQwWyblG_2b8ixLqbt6QFhg_3d_3d

If you have questions or comments, feel free to contact Prof. Sarah Bunin Benor (sbenor@huc.edu) or Prof. Steven M. Cohen (steve34nyc@aol.com).

Everyone's Got a Story...

...some just have more to say than others.

And this is where author/editor/lecturer Ruchama King Feuerman came into the picture.

Ruchama, who hosts writing workshops, both in person and via teleconferencing, recently compiled and edited a book of short stories/essays written by some of her students.

Not only does Ruchama have the pleasure of presenting this new batch of writers, she scatters some of her own writing tips and tools throughout the pages. Catchy and concrete ideas that are sure to help any writer work through challenges or offer a springboard from where to start.

Back in February 2007, I wrote a post called The Perfect Name. It was about Ruchama and the blog she'd just started. Alan Busch commented on my post, thanking me for the reference to Ruchama.

I am more than pleased to say that Alan is a talented writer himself, having put out his own book -- Snapshots in Memory of Ben -- a tribute to his beloved son who died at too young an age. Alan has a couple of essays featured in Ruchama's latest book "Everyone's Got a Story".

See, it pays to read blogs...and write!

Pick up a copy of this fine book of Ruchama's; it will make for good Shabbos afternoon reading, or late-night reading in bed.

Happy 4th of July!!

To all of my American friends and readers:

HAPPY 4th of JULY

As you celebrate your nation's independence, may you have a safe and healthy weekend.

(just an an aside: in my years of blogging, I've been using American spelling, not Canadian, so that the majority of my readers -- Americans -- will not think I'm typing with spelling errors.

:) )

The Bus Brigade

Okay, so school was out...what? A week ago for most kids, two weeks ago for others.

The school buses had the shortest hiatus on earth, only to reappear in the last two days.

Today is my two younger children's first day of day camp. We stood outside the house with the dog, waiting for the Camp Eitan bus.

"I see it down the street!" yells Noam.

A bus nears.

Nope. It's a Camp Robin Hood bus...and passes us by.

"There it is!" yells Adina.

The bus nears.

Nope. It's a Lubavitch Camp bus...and passes us by.

A mini school bus passes in the other direction. Might it be ours? Maybe camp enrollment from our area is down and we've downsized to a minibus...?

Nope. The bus doesn't slow dow. It's a Camp Green Acres bus.

Finally a bus comes our way. No fancy names or decorations on the bus. But a familiar face of the bus driver whom these kids have had for the past few years during their camp sojourn. The bus slows, the doors open, greetings and goodbyes are exchanged...and my kids are off to camp!

I take Max our dog for a walk when the kids are gone. Throughout our neighborhood, outside lovely homes, you see parents standing with their children or nannies standing with their charges. All are doing what we did -- waiting for that big -- or little! -- orange/yellow schoolbus to transport these children to day camps.

This scene happens in the morning between 8-9:30; between 3:30-5:00 in the afternoon, the scene will be in reverse, as parents and nannies stand outside the homes, waiting for the schoolbuses to drop off children.

The pattern will repeat itself from Monday through Friday...

Tomorrow, big boy/bar mitzvah boy Avi, is off to overnight camp for the first time. I don't think it'll be a big orange/yellow schoolbus we'll be looking for in the shopping center's parking lot where he gets dropped off. A comfy, coach bus ought to do the trick!

May all these buses drive safely throughout the summer, transporting their precious cargo to and from camps and summer programs.

A Touch of Blue

A Touch of Blue, the name of this brief post, was also the name of the literary section of the Jewish campus newspaper, when I was literary editor back in the early eighties at the University of Toronto. I'd come up with that name, as it had a double entendre for me: "blue" meaning ink of a pen, and also meaning sad.

I haven't tuned in for a while to this blog; my life has been very busy, to say the least.

It's been a time of sorrow and happiness, rolled into a short time frame.

My mother-in-law passed away last Monday, June 16th. My eldest child's bar mitzvah took place this past Shabbos, June 21st.

Shiva...and simcha: an odd juxtaposition...

(more to come...)

Nightfather

i read this book over yom tov.

it is a quick read. it is a captivating read. it is an insightful read.

i bought this book for one dollar from the discard book cart at the public library.

it is worth so much more.

i have read many holocaust books --fiction and non-fiction -- in my lifetime, but none like this one.

it is a novel made of up of short chapters. each chapter is a vignette. each chapter captures a father's memory from the war, and his children's reactions to that memory.

the reader is left wondering: is this a work of fiction or is this a biography?

with great simplicity, the author -- carl friedman being a woman actually -- captures a survivor's tale. the book, originally written in dutch and translated into english, does not lose anything in translation.

it is a powerful read.

i highly recommend it.

FINAL Sale

Oh. My. G-d.

I was just on the COSTCO website, checking out the location of one in Toronto near my parents. I want to go and see what sorts of paper goods they have -- if any -- for making a simcha.

I scanned the site banner of features: decor, food, furniture, funerals.

FUNERALS?!?!?

Of course I had to check it out -- it's broken down into categories with visuals: caskets, pet urns, memorial flowers, etc.

Oy... I can't help but laugh as I imagine this scene...

LAST STOP FUNERAL HOME. Vera and family are gathered for visitation from 2:00-4:00. Her mother, Eldora, died of old age at the ripe age of 97, and people are coming to pay their last respects and view the body.

Nestled in a baby pink, with mother-of-pearl inlay, coffin, she looks so peaceful, with her rouged cheeks and frosted pink lipstick. Her regular housedress has been replaced with a smart-looking denim pantsuit and orthopedic loafers.

People comment as they pass.

"Vera, I'm so sorry about Eldora. She was a wonder still at her age. Playing pinochle with the cronies at the seniors' lodge and baking muffins."

"She looks better than ever," is whispered between two lady friends.

"Vera. What a darling coffin! Did the funeral parlor supply it?"

Vera: "No. I got it online, ON SALE -- it was a clearance item -- at COSTCO! Marked down from $2500 to $800...can you believe it?"

Friend: "That is a bargain."

Vera: "Anything for Mother... And did you notice her pantsuit? COSTCO too! A special from last year's fall close-outs...I bought it just for this occasion, and even showed it to Mom, who gave it her blessings. You know, I guess when COSTCO calls itself a 'big box store,' they really mean it!"