Pale Male

The other night, I watched this PBS special for the second time. I was equally moved by it the second time around, as I'd been the first time, when I saw the documentary a year or two ago.

Have any of you seen the special, or know about this?

Nature shows might come across as boring to some people, but for others -- such as myself -- they are vehicles that leave us in awe of G-d's creations.

Gullible Me...& Perhaps You?

Just after posting the last bit, I decided to GOOGLE the story, and this is what I came up with.

Guess that's why "shmirat halashon" (guarding of one's tongue) is so important; we don't always know if what we're telling/repeating is, in fact, truth.

(I just realized this post will be read before the other one, as the latest posts go on top. Oh, well...)

A Brain Twister (came through email)

For those who have served on jury...this one is something to think about .

Just when you think you have heard everything!!

Do you like to read a good murder mystery? Not even Law and Order would attempt to capture this mess. This is an unbelievable twist of fate!!!!

At the 1994 annual awards dinner given for Forensic Science, (AAFS)President Dr. Don Harper Mills astounded his audience with the legal complications of a bizarre death. Here is the story:

On March 23, 1994....... the medical examiner viewed the body of Ronald Opus, and concluded that he died from a shotgun wound to the head. Mr. Opus had jumped from the top of a ten-story building intending to commit suicide..

He left a note to the effect indicating his despondency. As he fell past the ninth floor, his life was interrupted by a shotgun blast passing through a window, which killed him instantly. Neither the shooter nor the deceased was aware that a safety net had been installed just below the eighth floor level to protect some building workers and that Ronald Opus would not have been able to complete his suicide the way he had planned.

The room on the ninth floor, where the shotgun blast emanated, was occupied by an elderly man and his wife. They were arguing vigorously and he was threatening her with a shotgun! The man was so upset that when he pulled the trigger, he completely missed his wife, and the pellets went through the window, striking Mr. Opus.

When confronted with the murder charge, the old man and his wife were both adamant, and both said that they thought the shotgun was not loaded. The old man said it was a long-standing habit to threaten his wife with the unloaded shotgun. He had no intention to murder her. Therefore the killing of Mr. Opus appeared to be an accident; that is, assuming the gun had been accidentally loaded.

The continuing investigation turned up a witness who saw the old couple's son loading the shotgun about six weeks prior to the fatal accident..

It transpired that the old lady had cut off her son's financial support and the son, knowing the propensity of his father to use the shotgun threateningly, loaded the gun with the expectation that his father would shoot his mother.

Since the loader of the gun was aware of this, he was guilty of the murder even though he didn't actually pull the trigger. The case now becomes one of murder on the part of the son for the death of Ronald Opus.

Now comes the exquisite twist... Further investigation revealed that the son was, in fact, Ronald Opus. He had become increasingly despondent over the failure of his attempt to engineer his mother's murder.

This led him to jump off the ten-story building on March 23rd, only to be killed by a shotgun blast passing through the ninth story window.

The son, Ronald Opus, had actually murdered himself. So the medical examiner closed the case as a suicide.

A true story from Associated Press (Reported by Kurt Westervelt)

...and Here's the Reason Why

Here are the responses:

1. Twinkle, twinkle, little star.
2. Birds of a feather flock together.
3. Look before you leap.
4. Beauty is only skin deep.
5. No use crying over spilled milk.
6. Cleanliness is next to Godliness.
7. The pen is mightier than the sword.
8. You cannot teach an old dog new tricks.
9. Spare the rod and spoil the child.
10. A watched pot never boils.
11. All that glitters is not gold.
12. Where there's smoke, there's fire.
13. Beggars can't be choosers.
14. Too many cooks spoil the broth.
15. Charity begins at home.
16. Those who live in glass houses should not throw stones.
17. Beginner's luck.
18. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
19. A rolling stone gathers no moss.
20. Close your mouth while chewing.

Elie Is One Smart Cookie...

In my quiz post yesterday, I wrote that Elie and Miriam would no doubt enjoy this brain quiz -- assuming, of course, that Elieand Miriam would read the post...assuming, of course, that Elie and Miriam read my blog pretty regularly...

Well, a resounding yes....at least about Elie. (I haven't heard from Miriam re. the quiz.) He reads my blog. He read that post. He enjoyed the quiz.

However, since his system does not allow him to comment on posts anymore, he sent me his responses. I think they're worthy of their own post. I am certainly impressed. After all, as this post title says, "Elie Is One Smart Cookie." My next post will have the answers; you can see for yourself just how Mensa-like Elie is.

Here are Elie's answers:

1. Scintillate, scintillate, asteroid minikin.

Twinkle, twinkle little star

2. Members of an avian species of identical plumage congregate.

Birds of a feather flock together

3. Surveillance should precede saltation.

Look before you leap

4. Pulchritude possesses solely cutaneous profundity.

Beauty is only skin deep

5. It is fruitless to become lachrymose over precipitately departed lacteal fluid.

Don't cry over spilled milk

6. Freedom from encrustations of grime is contiguous to rectitude.

Cleanliness is next to godliness

7. The stylus is more potent than the claymore.

The pen is mightier than the sword

8. It is fruitless to attempt to indoctrinate a superannuated canine with innovative manoeuvers.

You can't teach an old dog new tricks

9. Eschew the implementation of correction and vitiate the scion.

Spare the rod, spoil the child

10. The temperature of the aqueous content of an unremittingly observed saucepan does not reach 212 degrees Fahrenheit.

A watched pot never boils

11. All articles that coruscate with resplendence are not truly auriferous.

All that glitters is not gold

12. Where there are visible vapours having their prevalence in ignited carbonaceous materials, there is conflagration.

Where there's smoke, there's fire

13. Sorting on the part of mendicants must be interdicted.

Beggers can't be choosers

14. A plethora of individuals with expertise in culinary techniques vitiates the potable concoction produced by steeping certain comestibles.

Too many cooks spoil the broth

15. Eleemosynary deeds have their incipience intramurally.

Charity begins at home

16. Individuals who make their abodes in vitreous edifices would be advised to refrain from catapulting petrous projectiles.

People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones

17. Neophyte's serendipity.

Beginner's luck

18. Exclusive dedication to laborious enterprise without interlude of enjoyable diversion renders John a tedious fellow.

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy

19. A revolving lithic conglomerate accumulates no congeries of a small green bryophytic plant.

A rolling stone gathers no moss

20. It behooves the garrulous to render impenetrable the buccal orifice during mastication.

Chew with your mouth closed

DogGONE It!

Spotted this amusing bit today on Reuters:

Bangkok:

Two Thai street mutts who became ace sniffer dogs at an airport near the notorious “Golden Triangle” opium-producing region have been fired for urinating on luggage and ‘sexually harassing’ female passengers. The pair, Mok and Lai, had been plucked from obscurity under a programme initiated by King Bhumibol Adulyadej to turn strays into police dogs, the Bangkok Post said on Sunday.

Mok, eight, and Lai, six, were welcomed by Chiang Rai police when the pair, local breeds, were sent to help them at the northern international airport. Authorities needed well-trained sniffer dogs to prevent any attempts by passengers to smuggle illegal drugs into the country. Mok and Lai became instant favourites. They obeyed the rules and did not make any serious mistakes. They won praise from police for their work in sniffing out drugs at northern Thailand’s Chiang Rai airport, near the border with Laos and Myanmar, but many passengers kept complaining about their behaviour.

They made some small errors — and that was enough to get them barred. Mok’s former handler Police Lieutenant Colonel Jakapop Kamhom said, “Mok liked to pee on luggage while searching for drugs inside. He also liked to hold on to women’s legs,” he added.“Both were just as good as foreign dogs trained for use in drug missions,” he added. “But they were stray dogs, so their manners were not as good as those of foreign breeds.”

Mok and Lai now work on a farm, herding chickens and pigs, the paper said.

Say What????

This came in an email.

See if you can translate these well-known clichés and proverbs. Answers will be provided tomorrow perhaps.

(Elie, Miriam: I think you both will enjoy this brain quiz.)

1. Scintillate, scintillate, asteroid minikin.

2. Members of an avian species of identical plumage congregate.

3. Surveillance should precede saltation.

4. Pulchritude possesses solely cutaneous profundity.

5. It is fruitless to become lachrymose over precipitately departed lacteal fluid.

6. Freedom from encrustations of grime is contiguous to rectitude.

7. The stylus is more potent than the claymore.

8. It is fruitless to attempt to indoctrinate a superannuated canine with innovative manoeuvers.

9. Eschew the implementation of correction and vitiate the scion.

10. The temperature of the aqueous content of an unremittingly observed saucepan does not reach 212 degrees Fahrenheit.

11. All articles that coruscate with resplendence are not truly auriferous.

12. Where there are visible vapours having their prevalence in ignited carbonaceous materials, there is conflagration.

13. Sorting on the part of mendicants must be interdicted.

14. A plethora of individuals with expertise in culinary techniques vitiates the potable concoction produced by steeping certain comestibles.

15. Eleemosynary deeds have their incipience intramurally.

16. Individuals who make their abodes in vitreous edifices would be advised to refrain from catapulting petrous projectiles.

17. Neophyte's serendipity.

18. Exclusive dedication to laborious enterprise without interlude of enjoyable diversion renders John a tedious fellow.

19. A revolving lithic conglomerate accumulates no congeries of a small green bryophytic plant.

20. It behooves the garrulous to render impenetrable the buccal orifice during mastication.

Who Is Rich?

Who is rich?

* He* who goes to a community fund-raiser for a school whose students have physical and mental challenges, and thanks G-d that his children do not need the school's services.

* He who walks through the lobby of a children's hospital and thanks G-d that his children are not patients there.

* He who realizes that it's not always dollars that make "sense"!

* He who understands that praise is a gift, and shares that gift.

* He who puts family before self.

* He who makes a house a home.

* He who instills a "value" system in each of his children.

* He who makes strangers feel like longtime friends.

* He who gives more than he takes.

* He who believes that the pursuit of learning and studying is a lifelong adventure.

* He who thanks G-d for all that he is and all that he already has.


_______________________________________

He* can also mean she.

Auto Observations

This is a SMART car. However, to me, this car looks so dumb!

As I passed one today in a driveway, I thought: "How can anyone take this car seriously?"

Whenever I pass one, I announce to my kids in the back seat, or say to myself, "There goes a putt-putt." That's what I call them. Or I call them glorified golfing carts.

I laugh silently -- or aloud -- when I see one. I, for one, cannot take them seriously. They are cute, they are chichi, they are an attraction...but they look like too much of a novelty.

What's interesting for me -- especially after posting this -- is that the logo for the model is: "open your mind" (TM)

So open your mind, get a SMART car, and zip around the city in it...instead of on the golf course!

**************************************

I was driving in my neighborhood this morning and passed a car with something hanging from the central mirror.

It made me laugh to myself.

No. It wasn't a pair of fuzzy dice.

No. It wasn't a pair of baby shoes.

No. It wasn't a Beanie Baby. (tm)

No. It wasn't a Tefillat Haderech. (Traveler's prayer)

(DRUMROLL PLEASE.)

It was a huge chai.

The kind of chai you'd imagine spoofed on an episode of Saturday Night Live. With some depiction of an old Jewish guy or a young, supposedly cool Jewish guy, wearing a more-than-oversized chai like this, hanging down to his pupik!

The car was a sedan. Thank G-d it wasn't a SMART car. Then I would have had two reasons to laugh!!

Guard Your Tongue!!

Shmiras Halashon [guarding of one's tongue] is a pretty popular concept. So popular, in fact, that societies advocating it have risen up in many communities. Books talk about it, lectures discuss the concept, and people...? Shhh...not supposed to talk about it -- might be deemed gossip!

A few years back when a formal group was created in Toronto, a group whose aim was to teach about avoiding gossip, slander, idle talk, a girlfriend and I were talking about this group. Nothing bad, you understand, just talking.

She said that someone had gotten up in her shul to talk about the group and said that everyone should dedicate at least one hour a day to being aware of what one says and avoiding lashon harah. My girlfriend decided that 3 a.m. worked good for her!

In any case, I don't need a society to realize that gossip and slander are negative; I was raised to be aware not to talk idly or evil about people and things. But sometimes there is a thin line: am I talking lashon harah, or is it just positive criticism?

This evening I was laughing to myself when I came across this ad in a little magazine meant primarily for Toronto's Orthodox community:

Need place cards for your simcha? We have place cards that include 2-4 line poems to encourage Shmiras Halashon at a simcha...

At a simcha of all places! When you want to critique or discuss the groom's side of the family, or the bride's gown, the music, the decor...and most importantly...the FOOD!! No discussing, no hinting at, no passing references?

I'm guessing that some guests and members of the wedding party, or the bar mitzvah boy's family and friends are doomed.

Perhaps blogging is truly a form of lashon harah. I don't want to be a part of lashon harah. So I guess I just have to stop blogging....NOT!!! Thought I was serious, huh?

The message of this post is think before you write, think before you speak...and if need be, remember that more often than not, "Silence is golden."

A Beautiful Rendition of One of My Favorite Songs

Oy Veh!

And while we're on the Mickey Katz theme...

Jennifer Grey singing and dancing

Something you don't see every day!

Simple and Funny...Simply Funny

Rabbi Neil Fleischmann of NY's Funniest Rabbi wrote a one-liner that made me break out into a wide smile when I read it, and made a friend break out laughing when I told it to her over the phone, even though I didn't repeat it correctly. (I'm not too good at repeating jokes; I'm much funnier when I'm spontaneous...and cynical and sarcastic.)

I hoped as I read the joke that it was original, because I wanted to be able to attribute it to him.

Phew, it is original. And I have the good rabbi's permission to share the joke with you. Thank you.

Neil is pretty eclectic: he teaches full-time, he is rabbi in residence for senior camps held over Passover and other chagim, he is an actor -- doing comedy, drama and improv, he is a writer & poet. He is all-around nice and well-liked guy who manages to capture a lot of the world around him in the words of his drashot (sermons), his blog posts and his occasional photos.

Check out his blog. I've been doing so for well over two years...and happily so.

I knew I'd
gained weight when I asked the shadchan for a name and she said Jenny Craig.

Graphic...Novel

I just finished reading this book today; it's a graphic novel...a comic book for adults, if you so please!

I love Klezmer music and this presented a wonderful view of that genre...in a slightly warped way.

Apparently, the book was originally published in French and translated to English. It's a wonderful visual trip with the artwork that comes alive and characters who come alive through their lines!

Klezmer is Book 1 in a proposed series, and I look forward to following the adventures in subsequent books.

I love reading yet I also lost the capability to read as I used to...I find it hard to sit and allow myself to read, and usually read small items, along the lines of short stories or magazine articles. (this comes mainly from the fact that I worked in publishing for years and years, reading manuscripts, and the fact that I majored in English. I have no "setzfleisch" for reading) Thus this genre -- of graphic novel -- is perfect for me.

Next up, I have a copy of Neil Kleid's Brownsville to read, which I first read about on Seraphic Secret.

When you think about it, graphic novels have been around, but we just might have not "noticed" them: TinTin, for example. But now, one certainly does notice them; I go into the mega-size bookstores and find entire sections cordoned off as Graphic Novels, both in the youth/teen section and adult sections.

It's an easy, quick format of reading, being entertained and getting informed...all at the same time.

Hmmm...graphic novels.... I know I can write, but if I could only draw....

A Simple Explanation Will Do

Could someone please tell me why...

...the no-name soap pad I've just started smells like a barnyard?

Does that mean that brand-name scouring pads smell like a garden of lilies and irises?

Hey, come to think of it, I think steel wool also smells gross. What's up with that?

If You Play Your Cards Right...

Late last night I watched this film. The Hebrew title is "Afula Express" but in English, it was renamed to "Pick a Card." Both titles work extremely well for the storyline, but for the English-speaking audiences the latter name is more appropriate.

As I sat and watched, I was bothered because I just KNEW that the lead actress was familiar to me, but I couldn't recall where I'd seen her before -- I don't watch Israeli films all that often and I didn't think she was anything but an Israeli. And then it hit me; I'd seen her in this film that I'd talked about in a previous post.

People tell me I'm pretty fluent in Hebrew, but nonetheless I read the English subtitles. And subtitling is a funny genre in itself. Often what the characters said in Hebrew was translated much harsher in English, throwing in "Hell" and other curse words...for effect, I guess.

The film won several awards and no doubt, rightfully so.

Everyone Has a Story To Tell

I just finished watching this film that I'd taken out from the library. "Almost Peaceful" is in French, with English subtitles. It is not by any means a great film, but it is a sensitive one that deals with Parisians, primarily Jews, after World War II, and how they come to terms with how the war has changed them, changed their personal reality.

It is nice to know that someone came up with a concept like this and with a screenplay such as this one. "The survivor" deserves another look, and gets one in this film.

Life's Funny that Way

My last post was a shout-out to blogland -- to the people whose blogs I read and to the people who read my blog. It was a virtual thank-you for doing what you do, being who you are...and ultimately letting me be who I am.

I was just reviewing my roster of posts to see what kind of posts I was writing around this time in May 2006 and May 2005. And I found this post written nearly to the date that I wrote my post this past Friday, May 18th. And then I found this post written nearly to the date that I wrote my post this past Friday, May 18th.

It certainly has not been a conscious decision to write every mid-May about my fellow bloggers, to thank them and acknowledge their presence (and in some cases -- presents!) in my life.

I wonder what it is about this time of year that has me doing this... (cue "Twilight Zone" theme song). Some people, who have more than one child, give birth to their children around the same time in different years. Is it that sort of phenomenon?

In any case, if I'm still blogging next May, keep an eye open for another shout-out.

*****
And by the way, my shout-out from last year has reference to blogger Ten Li Koach. I just wanted you all to kvell and know that she has other reasons now to request Ten Li Koach (give me strength): she was blessed, giving birth to a beautiful and healthy baby daughter a few weeks ago. Pu, Pu, Pu. Wish her a hearty mazel tov.
Blogging has exposed me to life, death, simchas and sadness. I've ridden an emotional rollercoaster along with many bloggers whose heartfelt emotions come through their words.
To write that way is a gift. To read the words is also a gift.

A Shout-Out to Blogland

I first found myself in the blogosphere in October 2004, when I discovered Seraphic Secret...and boy, am I glad I did. Learning about Robert's family's ordeal and great loss opened my eyes to someone's personal story made public.

I'd scan Robert's list of favorite blogs too and began to read some of them, too. That's how I discovered Treppenwitz, and A Simple Jew. And from those blogs I discovered Jack's Shack, PsychoToddler, Kerckhoff Coffeehouse, NY's Funniest Rabbi, Mirty, Elie's Expositions, Life of Rubin and several others.

And in December 2004, I took the plunge and became a blogger too. And eventually, I had three blogging gigs. Okay, I've let up on the other two quite a bit, but I still have access to them.

I began to write posts, and continued to read others', finding new blogs on other peoples' blogrolls. I came upon some fabulous blogs later in my blogging career -- Jew Eat Yet?, Citizen of the Month, Ezzie, Oriyenta, OldOldLadyoftheHills, Shalom from Jerusalem, to name but a few -- just by reading others' blogrolls.

I don't update my blogroll too often because even if I don't read someone regularly anymore, I take a peek every now and again to see how and what they're doing in their life and in their blogging corner.

So this post is just meant to be a shout-out to bloggers whose paths have crossed mine -- both in real time and virtually. You don't realize how big or small an impact you've made on my life, but you truly have. With your words on your blog, and sometimes in my comments, you've made me laugh, cry, think, understand or question. Sometimes we've even taken our comments offline and into our email InBox.

And you've made me write, and write, and write....

Thank you. Todah rabah. Merci. Gracias. Danke.